In a way, human beings behave like bees. If you place several bees in an open-ended bottle and lay the bottle on its side with the base toward a light source, the bees will repeatedly fly to the bottle bottom toward the light. It never occurs to them to reverse gears and try another direction. This is a combination of genetic programming and learned behavior.

Put a bunch of flies in that bottle and turn the base toward a bright light. Within a few minutes, all the flies will have found their way out. They try all directions—up, down, toward the light, away from the light, often bumping into the glass—but sooner or later they flutter forth into the neck of the bottle and out the opening.

We often allow ourselves to become locked in our present circumstances, even if we are unhappy and really want to be reaching in a new direction. What we’re doing may make us miserable, but at least it’s familiar. One of the most important factors in achieving personal success is the willingness to try things out, to experiment, to test new ground. In fact, this is the only way to learn and progress: trial, error, feedback, knowledge, trial and success. It is a far better thing to try to succeed and fail than to do nothing and succeed.

This week:

* Try it
* Change it
* Do it

Stop stewing and start doing!

—Denis Waitley


2. The Champion Within Article

Avoid Fair-Weather Supporters by Denis Waitley

When you seek support and feedback, be sure it is from people who are truly interested in seeing you succeed. Don't seek feedback from fair-weather friends, competitive peers, or any person who doesn't have your best interests at heart. Neutral doesn't count. Get feedback from someone who is on your side but will still be objective and brutally honest with you.

Misery truly does love company, and jealousy creates some of the most miserable people. Surpass the achievements of your particular social crowd or your business colleagues, and look out for the slings and arrows of those who wish you were back where they are.

You have to dodge the snide remarks and catty comments. Let them roll right off you. Don't internalize them. Only pay attention to feedback from those who have similar goals or who are working actively alongside you to achieve goals of their own.

Motives and fears run deep. Study them in others. The manager who supports you and comforts you when you're down may like you best when you are in just that state: down and dependent. When you start succeeding beyond his expectations and comfort level, he may be among the first to get you to back off, limit your horizons, and lower your goals. Recognize this feedback for the insecurity it is. It will rarely be objective or well-intentioned.

Even parents and significant family members aren't immune to emotional conflicts that can pollute their feedback. Many relatives and siblings have difficulty accepting the success of others in the family or encouraging further success.

Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody's expectations for you and opinions about you are as important as your own. So make sure your opinions take precedence in your mind over all others, and when you do need to consult with someone else, think very carefully before you choose exactly who.

Roots and Wings (A Child’s Bedtime Song)

If I had two wishes, I know what they would be
I’d wish for Roots to cling to, and Wings to set me free;

Roots of inner values, like rings within a tree,
And Wings of independence to seek my destiny.

Roots to hold forever to keep me safe and strong,
To let me know you love me, when I’ve done something wrong;

To show me by example, and help me learn to choose,
To take those actions every day to win instead of lose.

Just be there when I need you, to tell me it’s all right,
To face my fear of falling when I test my wings in flight;

Don’t make my life too easy, it’s better if I try,
And fail and get back up myself, so I can learn to fly.

If I had two wishes, and two were all I had,
And they could just be granted, by my Mom and Dad;
I wouldn’t ask for money or any store-bought things,
The greatest gifts I’d ask for are simply Roots and Wings.

Loyalty by Zig Ziglar

(excerpted from his new book, Born to Win: Find Your Success Code)

Loyalty is one of the characteristics of great leaders, and the reason we have a short supply of inspiring leaders is because we have a short supply of people who have learned how to be loyal. People who are loyal are loyal to the commitments they make, and they keep their promises. They are loyal to the principles they embrace, and they are loyal to the people who fill their lives. A person who is loyal does not talk behind the backs of those he follows, and a loyal person sincerely wishes the best for others. In one sense, loyalty is an expression of love, because it requires some selflessness.

Few people have become great leaders without first learning how to be loyal. If a person holds a position of leadership and responsibility, his effectiveness will be directly related to how well he learned in his formative years to follow others and to be loyal to them. A person without loyalty will not follow others and is incapable of being an effective leader.

Now you understand why you have to be before you can do, and do before you can have. Be, do, have is a picture of the whole person, inside and out. You become what you are because it is impossible to produce results that are inconsistent with who you are. As you begin to plan your vision and your goals, this truth needs to be an integral, foundational aspect of your character. Then, and only then, can you begin to develop the degree of clarity, the topic of the next chapter, that you need to keep moving toward the life you are meant to have.