To live a rich, balanced life we need to be more in conscious control of our habits and lifestyles. Actualized individuals have a regular exercise routine. They pay attention to nutrition, with lean source protein and fiber-based carbohydrates as their basic food choices. They relax through musical, cultural, artistic and family activities. They get sufficient sleep and rest to meet the next day renewed and invigorated.

In addition to blocking periods of time for recreation and vacations, they also schedule large, uninterrupted periods of work on their most important projects. Contrary to popular notions, most books, works of art, inventions, and musical compositions are created during uninterrupted time frames, not by a few lines, strokes, or notes every so often. Every book or audio program I have written has been done with the discipline of twelve to fifteen hours per day during a specific block of time.

True enough, I may have sacrificed a ski trip or an escape vacation once or twice. But by trying to focus on prime projects in prime time, the opportunity costs have been outweighed by the return on invested resources. With your material, time and energy resources allocated well, you should be able to use your innovative powers to focus on goal achievement. Effective priority management creates freedom. Freedom provides opportunity to make decisions. We make our decisions and our decisions, over time, make us.
So this week, concentrate on making the decisions that make your goals!

—Denis Waitley

2. The Champion Within Article
Communicating with Your Middle and High School Age Child by Denis Waitley

First you listen, then you talk. The parent who takes the role of listener is in complete control. It’s important to take the time to listen to your children. Don’t say “in just a minute” or “not right now.” Make it clear that you are listening and trying to understand your child’s point of view.

Learning to listen better can help transform your relationship with your child by making him or her feel appreciated, by increasing trust, and by helping to solve problems more quickly. If you’re going to give your adolescent or teen your full attention, you’re going to need to become a good listener.

And to become a better listener, you’re going to need to reduce or eliminate both physical and psychological barriers. Physically, you’re going to want to minimize distractions so you can pay attention. You might turn off the TV or the radio, or put away your magazine. Take a deep breath (this will prevent you from interrupting and provide your brain with invigorating oxygen), and maintain eye contact as you consciously decide to listen.

You probably think you’re a pretty good conversationalist, and you’re probably right. But take a moment to ask yourself if you talk to your teen using open-ended versus dead-ended questions. The latter require just a “yes” or “no” answer. That’s economical but not very enlightening.

Which is more typical of your conversations?

You: “Did you have a good day at school?”

Kid: “It was O.K.”

That’s the end of the conversation because the answer is too complex and to a child who hears it every day, it sounds automatic. So you get an automatic, routine answer.

-- or --

You: “You look like you survived the tryouts for the soccer team.”

Let’s say he or she responds by saying he didn’t make the team and is disappointed. You could follow up by responding:

“That must be tough playing under the coach’s scrutiny like that. Were you nervous?”

“Do you agree with the coach’s decision?”

“Will you try out again next year?”

“If you and I play a lot this year would that help you for next year?”

“Hmmm. Sounds as if you’re disappointed but determined to work to improve. Is that right?”

None of these responses would have likely followed if you just asked the dead-ended question, “Was school O.K. today?” and you would have missed an opportunity to have a more in-depth exchange. Remember, a real conversation gets two people involved, not just going through the motions.

Three issues to consider:

Timing: Teens don’t want to be ignored or intruded upon so try giving them some time and distance when they come home from school. The idea is not to ignore school but try greeting them with a statement rather than a question. “You look like you survived the tryouts for the soccer team,” not “How were tryouts for the soccer team?” Middle and high school is a lot about privacy so think of it as a verbal hug in the form of a statement.

Tone: Kids will often hear judgment when none is intended. A simple statement like, “You’re awfully quiet today,” can be taken as accusatory or empathic, and can cause your child to become unresponsive to avoid criticism. Try to make your statements specific and nonjudgmental. “That must be tough playing under the coach’s scrutiny like that.”

Topic: Kids are more likely to respond to questions that focus on what matters to them. “If you and I play a lot this year would that help you for next year?” Take the time and make the effort to have your teen believe he or she has your full attention and is really being heard. You’ll likely find that in return he or she is more willing to listen to you.

Practice the skill of listening with your teen and watch your relationship with them begin to transform!

—Denis Waitley

“If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.” —Abraham Lincoln

3. Seeds of Greatness
If You Think You Can, You Can by Denis Waitley

You can be a total winner, even if you’re a beginner
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can
You can wear the gold medallion, you can ride your own black stallion
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can

It’s not your talent or the gifted birth
It’s not your bank book that determines worth
It isn’t in your gender or the color of your skin
It’s your attitude that lets you win

You can live with “coulds” or “shoulds,” or be like Tiger Woods
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can
Even if you’re hesitant, you can be a woman president
If you think you can you can, if you think you can you can

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before
It makes no difference what’s the halftime score
It’s never over ‘til the final gun
So keep on trying and you’ll find you’ve won

Just grab your dream and then believe it
Go out and work, and you’ll achieve it
If you think you can, you can
If you think you can, you can

4. The Winner's Edge Coaching Tips
Zig Ziglar on Human Relations

Abraham Lincoln, truly one of our greatest presidents, had a rather unique approach to trying a case when he was a practicing attorney. He went to great lengths to learn everything he could about what the attorney for the “other side” would say…. Then, in his arguments, Lincoln would do a superb job of presenting the case from his opponent’s side of the table.... On occasion, the attorney for the other side would make the observation that Lincoln had presented the opposition’s case better than he could have. Perhaps you wonder why he took such an approach. First, he wanted to be fair. Second, he wanted to win the case if he believed his client was right. Needless to say, Lincoln then presented his own side with more fervor, facts, and reasons why his side was the right side.

By using this procedure, Lincoln completely robbed the opposition of anything to say and built his own case in a stronger manner.... He also wove in more humor and homespun stories when he presented his case. Most people, including jurors, like and trust those who give them cause to smile and who bring homespun logic to the table. What Lincoln did was simple. He practiced great human relations and used his abundant common sense. He wanted right to prevail and when he presented his case, as a general rule, the right side did win. Think about it. Take Lincoln’s approach and I’ll see you at the top!