The Power of One-on-One
The secret to being a good role model and mentor is in finding out what others want and helping them succeed. The secret to being a good and wise communicator is the patient listening for those desires in others, and also in learning from the experiences of others by questioning and listening thoroughly, so that we may learn from their successes and failures.

Frank Sinatra learned his superb breath control in singing from his first band leader, Tommy Dorsey. In large part, the person Helen Keller became was because of Anne Sullivan. Plato learned from Socrates. Jesse Owens credits his winning of the long jump in the 1936 Olympics to a tip given to him by his top German competitor, Luz Long. In the middle of the event, after Owens had already fouled twice on takeoff, Long gave Owens a helpful hint on how to correct his takeoff point. The result was a record-breaking leap of over 26 feet, which stood for more than twenty years.

Artists have always learned more from observing other artists than from going to classes or observing nature. In a sense, you and I are master artists who have the opportunity to breathe new colors, shading and perspective into the lives of other artists who are struggling with their oils, brushes and canvases. Think back to the people who have had the most influence on you. You will likely find that they have been people who really cared about you—your parents, a great teacher, a coach, business associate, a good friend—someone who was interested in you. The only people you will influence to any great degree will be the people you care about. When you are with people you care for, their interests—rather than your own—will be uppermost in your mind.

Our success in getting along with others and communicating effectively with them depends solely upon our ability to recognize their desires and needs, and help them fill those desires and needs with positive actions.

In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom; sensitivity is not always accuracy and sympathy is not always understanding. All customer service and the ability to gain trust and repeat business is based on empathy. Empathy is “feeling with” and never assuming anything until you have “walked a mile in the other person’s moccasins.” Since it is impossible to know the road another has walked, the best alternative is to ask questions with interest and respect, and listen for the hidden agendas and desires.

How to Find the Olympian Within by Denis Waitley
You’re standing on the highest pedestal, the one in the center. You hear the roar of approval from the crowd. As the first note of the national anthem is played in the Olympic stadium, you feel all the pride and honor that accompanies this moment. Ten thousand hours of preparation for this one triumphant moment in history. You’ve won the gold!

That dream of an Olympic championship is in the heart of every amateur athlete, just as the Grand Final, World Cup, Super Bowl and Wimbledon are the goals of professional football players and tennis players. What are your dreams? You’re most likely not a world-class athlete, but surely you have aspirations of your own. Perhaps you imagine a metaphorical gold medal being placed around your neck by the CEO of your company, or by your friends and family for being the best in your own unique way. Maybe you wonder whether you’re up to the risk of starting your own business.

On Sundays my grandparents would take us children to ride the huge merry-go-round next to the San Diego Zoo. We could hardly wait to mount those bobbing zebras, lions, tigers and stallions, and whirl round and round to the music of the antique pipe organ. Surrounded by mirrors and lights, our hearts would pound in anticipation as we stretched out desperately, trying to be the one among all the riders who would grab the gold ring and win another ride. So began my competitive spirit.

Since you’re probably younger than I am, you may never even have heard of grabbing the gold ring on the carousel. But in the ’40s, and ’50s, if you reached out and caught it, you not only got a free ride, but also your name was also announced over the loudspeaker and all the other kids and their parents would applaud. And, of course, the kids all wished it could have been them instead of you.

Reflecting back now on my youth, I’ve come to some realizations. I guess I did start out thinking of success and winning as something that you got by reaching outside yourself and proving to others that you were worthy. Come to think of it, most of my friends also believed that you had to prove, or earn, or win, or perform in some special way, and then you would deserve the gold ring or the Olympic gold medal.

The approval of others seemed to precede feelings of self-confidence and self-worth. You were entitled to feel good about yourself only after you performed well. Why did it take me so many years to discover that just the reverse ought to be true?

After devoting most of my lifetime to investigating the wellsprings of personal and professional success, I’m able to make the following statements with great confidence:

• You need to feel love inside yourself before you can offer it to anyone else.
• Your own sense of value determines the quality of your performance. Performance is only a reflection of internal worth, not a measure of it.
• The less you try to impress, the more impressive you are.
• What you show the world on the outside is a mirror image of how you feel on the inside.
• You should chase your passion, not your pension.

The key trait shared by athletic champions and winners in every walk of life is the fundamental belief in one’s own internal value.

If your success depends on external possessions, you’ll be subject to constant anxiety. When your peer group cheers one of your accomplishments, you’ll feel good for a while, but then you’ll wonder if they’ll cheer as loudly the next time. If they’re critical, you will feel hurt and threatened. The truth is, you can never win over a long period of time if your concept of success depends upon the perfect performance or the placing of a gold medal around your neck.

It’s obvious that talent, looks and other attributes aren’t equally distributed, but we’re all given an abundance of value—more than we could use in several lifetimes. The game of life certainly isn’t played on a level playing field for each of us in terms of education, a supportive home life, and other circumstances beyond our control, but I can assure you that you were born with the qualities of a champion. That’s what I mean by value.

You see, champions are born, but they can be unmade by their perceptions, exposure and responses. Losers are not born to lose. They’re programmed that way by their own responses to their environment and their decisions.

There’s a phrase I like to use—The Inner Winner—that describes the kind of person who recognizes his or her internal value, and who is able to use that recognition as the foundation for achieving any goal. The secret of wearing the gold medal around your neck in the external world is that first you must be an Inner Winner. You must recognize that you’re already an Olympian within.

Winning is never whining.

Winning is coming in fourth, exhausted but excited, because you came in fifth last time.

Winning is being glad you’re you.

Winning is a feeling, there is no ceiling.

Winning is beginning, and by beginning, the game is half won.

Winning is all in the attitude!


Where Do You Go for Your Intellectual Feast? by Jim Rohn
Pity the man who has a favorite restaurant, but not a favorite author. He’s picked out a favorite place to feed his body, but he doesn’t have a favorite place to feed his mind!

Why would this be? Have you heard about the accelerated learning curve? From birth, up until the time we are about eighteen, our learning curve is dramatic, and our capacity to learn during this period is just staggering. We learn a tremendous amount very fast. We learn language, culture, history, science, mathematics... everything!

For some people, the accelerated learning process will continue. But for most, it levels off when they get their first job. If there are no more exams to take, if there’s no demand to get out paper and pencil, why read any more books? Of course, you will learn some things through experience. Just getting out there—sometimes doing it wrong and sometimes doing it right—you will learn.

Can you imagine what would happen if you kept up an accelerated learning curve all the rest of your life? Can you imagine what you could learn to do, the skills you could develop, the capacities you could have? Here’s what I’m asking you to do: be that unusual person who keeps up his learning curve and develops an appetite for always trying to find good ideas.

One way to feed your mind and educate your philosophy is through the writings of influential people. Maybe you can’t meet the person, but you can read his or her books. Churchill is gone, but we still have his books. Aristotle is gone, but we still have his ideas. Search libraries for books and programs. Search magazines. Search documentaries. They are full of opportunities for intellectual feasting.

In addition to reading and listening, you also need a chance to do some talking and sharing. I have some people in my life who help me with important life questions, who assist me in refining my own philosophy, weighing my values and pondering questions about success and lifestyle.

We all need association with people of substance to provide influence concerning major issues such as society, money, enterprise, family, government, love, friendship, culture, taste, opportunity, and community. Philosophy is mostly influenced by ideas, ideas are mostly influenced by education, and education is mostly influenced by the people with whom we associate.

One of the great fortunes of my life was to be around Mr. Shoaff those five years. During that time he shared with me at dinner, during airline flights, at business conferences, in private conversations and in groups. He gave me many ideas that enabled me to make small daily adjustments in my philosophy and activities. Those daily changes, some very slight, but very important, soon added up to weighty sums.

A big part of the lesson was having Mr. Shoaff repeat the ideas over and over. You just can’t hear the fundamentals of life philosophy too often. They are the greatest form of nutrition, the building blocks for a well-developed mind.

I’m asking that you feed your mind just as you do your body. Feed it with good ideas, wherever they can be found. Always be on the lookout for a good idea—a business idea, a product idea, a service idea, an idea for personal improvement. Every new idea will help to refine your philosophy. Your philosophy will guide your life, and your life will unfold with distinction and pleasure.