Be Real, and Not Too Smart
by Tony Jeary


The world hates a “know-it-all”, and can spot an overly orchestrated pitch a mile away. Your job, at the front of the room, is to be credible and effective.  This means that you really don't have to have every answer, and shouldn't be too slick or offer solutions that are too “pat”.  You need to be good, not perfect.

Why:

a. Participants must trust you. You need credibility that assures that you aren't perceived as trying to “smoke something past them” or con them.
                   
b. It is important to be authentic or truthful, and to be real – to be approachable.
                   
c. Being too slick breaks the emotional connection between you and your audience.
                 
How:

a. Know the difference between Being Effective vs. Being Right. The difference between being effective and being right is an important distinction -- being in the right doesn't mean that you're reaching your goal. Effective presenters and facilitators do what it takes to get the job done. They treat people fairly and equally, and will patiently lead the group to a solution. In contrast, the self-righteous facilitator gets involved in being right and dictates a position even when it is not appropriate to the process. If things don't go well, the self-righteous facilitator does not have results, but merely excuses -- "I've done what I can. It's not my fault if they didn't get it." “Ninety-three percent of the believability of your message is not the content or words you use. It's not what you say but how you say it.” – Judy Chaffee

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We've all heard the time-tested truth "Who you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying." Yet it is equally true that people's perception of who you are is controlled by dozens of small actions that you take every day. How quickly you return emails and phone calls, how you dress, the manner in which you speak and listen, the quality of your work, the people you surround yourself with, and even the look of your business card - all speak volumes to others about the person you are.

In short, every action you take, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, is a form of communication.

The key to being successful, and in particular, to communicating the essence of who you are to others, is to make sure your actions deliver a consistent and compelling message. A message you have predetermined ahead of time will help you to achieve your highest goals and objectives. A Perfect Message!

b. Make Sure Your Language (verbal and nonverbal) Reinforces What You Say. You will be judged on your language patterns and how you present yourself. There's a lot written on this, but here are

Key Tips:
                     
a. Adapt your language and attitude to the group you are addressing, but avoid the temptation to seek the lowest common denominator.  
                     
b. As far as body language goes, stand up straight, use appropriate gestures, be confident, and smile. Maintaining eye contact is a great way to build a good rapport. If you can't look individuals in the eye, they will feel you're hiding something, no matter what you say. Be aware of how you signal boredom and impatience, and studiously avoid these postures.
                   
c. Be Able To Laugh At Yourself. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes; it's very humanizing and helps establish you as a real person. It is rare presenter who doesn't make some type of mistake some time during the presentation. But handle with care -- Self-deprecation can be an effective technique when carried off in a humorous vein, but flat statements like "I'm really not too good at this" can be credibility killers. Repeated mistakes may characterize you as very real, but a very real dummy.
                 
Benefits:

a. You'll earn the trust and respect of your participants.  
                   
b. The group will be able to relate to you as a human being that respects their views
                   
c. The audience is more likely to “buy into” the message

Action Plan:

a. Look at the material for your next presentation carefully, and have someone who is familiar with the subject matter and audience/group review it. Are there words that may signal overconfidence or over-promise? Are you taking enough time to “walk people through” your key points or does your pace suggest that you are dictating the answer?
                   
b. Rehearse. Round up an audience that will give you candid feedback.  Is your body language right? Practice using ad-hoc humor on mistakes you make.
                   
c. Use Verbal Surveying and Targeted Polling (Discussed in earlier Newsletters, as well as, in Tony's book, Inspire Any Audience) to continuously validate your “connection” in your next session. Pay attention to the responses and make mental notes on what you may have done to generate any responses that are not completely positive.