EQUALITY OR IS IT, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 5109 · Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 6:01 am

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Hi all,

Equality or Is it?

I was bidding good bye to my wife as I started my car to leave for
office. The practice of bringing the lunch box to office was recent.
My mother and wife used to either get up early or cook last evening.
As I drove, I thought of today’s morning:-

“She slept late last night. Today she got up early to cook. Breakfast
and other chores. I got up an hour after her. She and my mother were
still struggling with the house work and it was already 9:00 AM. Her
office starts at 9:30 AM.”

Yes, she is a working woman. In fact, her job hours are more strenuous
than mine.
I stopped bringing lunch from the next day. Is that the solution? I
don’t know. Probably Not.

But several thoughts still persisted. I was thinking: -
Are the females in India treated in the same way as males, even in the
small % which is called the educated class?
As a matter of fact, these things which I am thinking now might have
persisted from a long time. It was probably the same with my mother.
But when I was young, I didn’t even think about these things. Was I
naïve or did I just take it for granted? I don’t know.
I became very restless. The traffic was thin but my mind was
completely engrossed. Certain changes that have happened over the past
year in my life after marriage – in my life and more importantly in my
wife’s life: -
From the day, my wife came to my place she is expected to call my
parents - Ma and Baba. Good. It builds family union probably. Am I
comfortable in calling her parents by these names? I don’t think so.
The above point - does it even matter? The Female comes to the male’s
home after marriage. Isn’t it? Why? I don’t know. Probably females are
supposed to. Why are they supposed to? Who cares? Does the question
bother me? Probably Yes.

Once in the evening, I wanted to meet a friend. I told my wife and
parents that I will come back in an hour. I didn’t even bother to
share the details about where I was going. Now I am thinking – Can she
go out of the house just like that? I don’t know. Probably not.
Why not? Does she need protection all the time? Has she ever asked for
this protection? I don’t think so.
If I think that I will have to go and live in someone’s house, I will
rather die but go. I cannot survive like that. I love my freedom. I
can’t give explanation of my life to anyone.

But, isn’t it true for everyone? Doesn’t everybody love his/her
freedom irrespective of gender? Probably yes.
Then why is it so different for females? Are we not brainwashing the
fairer sex from childhood? Are we not preparing them for the
inevitable? I don’t know. Probably yes.

Few years before – I was in Bangalore. I met a colleague’s brother in
law. He was still unmarried and we were talking about marriage in
general. He said – “bhai, apna funda to simple hai. Main yahan akele
rehta hoon. Bahar ka khana kha kha ke pak gaya hoon. Wo aayegi to roti
shoti bana degi. Jeena aasan ho jaayega”.
Did I care much then about this comment? Probably not. Do I today?
Probably yes. Was it the first time that I sensed these beliefs and
many more? No. I have heard things like these many times. And the
reasons have been umpteen too. Starting from the need of a Sushil
Grahani to support the male’s parents and house, the reasons have
lingered to fulfilling the carnal desires of a man. There is just no
end.
Today I look very towards these beliefs and its mindset with surprise.
Have we really grown up? Probably Not.

There is one more practice which disturbs me. During marriages, I have
noticed the distinct difference in the way; the male relatives and the
female relatives behave. There is an inherent expectation from the
female relatives to behave in a particular manner. The male side is
supposedly the boss.

Are they really? Is it a sin to get a daughter married? I don’t know.
This is the way it happens. Why? I don’t know. Do I like it? I don’t
think so.
So, who is responsible for these anomalies (if we consider them
anomalies)? Is it the Male or Female or parents or society? Who is it?
I don’t know. Probably we all are. Every single individual.

Do I have options? Can I do something? Probably Yes.

What can I do?
I can question the obvious. No more accepting the obvious.

· I can make changes with my own expectations

· I can fight for her. Can I? Does she need my support all the
time? Is she weak? No. Then?

o I can stand by her and let her travel her own journey with confidence.

· I can write these thoughts on paper.