MARRIED LIFE, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 5109 · Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 11:23 am

Dear all,

Read it carefully and till end.

Most important relationship

MARRIED LIFE

A boy and girl get married with whole lot of DREAMS. They come from different upbringing, surroundings, values and principles. It is natural that they become parents within few years. The joy of free birds reduces and they get shouldered with different responsibilities.

Earlier they used to say YES to everything what spouse used to demand. The scenario changes with more responsibilities. Expectation of spouse becomes different and arguments start taking centre stage. They are aware of difference of opinion and to respect it. However they forget with which “perspective” they view these opinions that give them grief.

Preconceived notions and meaning of words or the way they behave from the childhood is also a biggest hurdle after marriage. The meaning of certain words pronounced or behavior by spouse is completely different as perceived by other person.

In Marathi , we lovingly call few word as Weda, sample, ekdam idiot lagata hai, chayala, aaiyla. However if you use these words after marriage to your spouse who has come from different culture, the conversation will go haywire.

Few women become happy when their husband takes them for outings. They appreciate their husband more when together they share the food in outings, roam around, and go for Dramas or Cinema. It is not important to show them how much money you have by taking them to expensive outlet. Their demands are limited. It is not the money spent but sharing of togetherness/concern that makes them happy.

However few women become happy when you praise/ appreciate them on their look, type of clothes, food preparation, and cleanliness of house and upbringing of kids.

Husband need to by heart the birthday of wife and give a good surprise, see the happiness on face, unimaginable. Do not discuss earlier, take leave from work, book Cinema tickets, and go out for dinner. Ask for likable dish, praise her. You may be forgiven for not remembering wedding anniversary date but do not take unnecessary chances of forgetting wife’s birthday.

As the time passes it is important for spouse to understand what makes other better half happy and change accordingly. By and large within 5 years of marriage it is easy to understand each other’s wants and happiness.

Mostly the person gets hurt not because of harsh words or insult but when you show other person less valuable than material possession. This most painful wound would take more time to heal. It is most important for married couples to be aware of this fact.

Due to education, it is changing in urban places, however at rural and many in urban areas husbands still perceive their wife as a possession. They expect her to listen, obey and serve them on their demand. Husband is earning and wife is doing household activities. She is totally dependent on husband as far as money is concerned. The truth is by birth women are more resilient and mentally strong than men.

Never bring LOGIC into arguments. Arguments are only made in a court of law where two lawyers fight their client’s cases and a third person “Judge” gives the verdict. I can go further and encourage discussions rather than arguments. Discussions are good; argument does not end as it has LOGIC in it and LOGIC has no place in love.

Love is unconditional. Love is the source of caring energy and intern it provides happiness that we all are unnecessary searching in material gain.

Husbands have gotten bored with the same old ways of living with their wives and so they try to seek novelty outside the home. But marriage is about the deepening of love and intimacy. You are bonded with emotions and only one person has right over the same and that is your loving and caring wife. The difficulty of going deeper into love is that along the way there are obstacles, resistance, fear and emotional struggles.

Yes it is much easier to run away than to face these things. All I can do is to urge husbands to trust in the goal of love, which is the merging of two people in a union of deep fulfillment. This has been seen as the course of wisdom for thousands of years.

100 men can stay together while two women cannot stand by each other, be it any relationship and it is a fact. Chemistry in women / men brain is different I am not saying good or bad. Husbands must learn and act to balance their views between their wife and mother. (Expectations from both of them are 100% correct, however balancing is must)
Please understand the meaning of below sentences--- always.
“Husband should not spend time in understanding a wife, love her.” “Wife should understand her husband more than love him.”

After all marriage is a compromise between two individuals on many issues. Married life becomes hell on petty issues and the core issue takes a backseat. Depending on the core issue either of the individual has to go one step back.

Never involve a third person –judge to give verdict on the difference of opinions on the issues faced by a couple. Ultimately these two individuals have to spend life together, throughout their life span.

Life is beautiful; we get only one chance to live. Make the most out of it and enjoy to the fullest.

Anthony J. D'Angelo:

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.

Gay Hendricks:

Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times.

Erich Fromm:

The experience of separateness arouses anxiety; it is, indeed, the source of all anxiety.

This is useful for people getting married or already married. We all have challenges and great chances to ensure what actually we want in long lasting relationship.

This is a small contribution from my observations on how to enjoy the married life.

When we step into this world 1st time, what we do is CRY. With our 1st CRY, our Parents and everyone becomes happy and they celebrate, distribute sweets amongst themselves.

On our early childhood days we do mistakes, they educate us and talk to others on our mischief with lot of pleasure and proud. Bolte hai Shrikrishna (God Krishna) jaisa Natkhat hai.

As we grow and CRY, they reprimand us. When we do not study well, they reprimand us.

We do not understand why is this? This is because they get ANGRY

As we grow, we also become ANGRY and story continuous till life long.

Today, I am equipping you with ANGER PREVENTION KIT.

Always keep with you.

Elizabeth Kenny:

My mother used to say, "He who angers you, conquers you!"

Aristotle:

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power that is not easy.