Hi..I'm new.

   Where should I begin? My life has been in utter turmoil for months.
My relationship went bad, and I broke it off, only to want him back, and he ran away. The last thing he told me is that I need to make my own happiness.

   I understand that, yet my life feels more empty without him. Why does he hold so much weight. I guess our relationship has been the only thing keeping me afloat. But our issues became so upsetting and frustrating that I broke it off without sitting down with him like I should. I feel guilt. For the anger...that drove me to ruin things. I wanted to fix it all, but in the end, he wouldnt allow it.

 I can't find a job, and I while I know it could be so much worse....
My life feels hopeless. I mourn so much...I wish it could be okay.
Whats worse is, I keep torturing myself with horary astrology...asking questions that end up just hurting me more. I thought we would contact soon, but apparently someone misread my chart.

I don't know if I should put so much stake in it, but I do...
I feel like a mess...
I wish I knew what to do....I'm afraid...

Hello,
A huge hug for you First of all u need to get a hold over yourself. Stop thinking about him too much and think about your next step that can bring a smile on your face be it having an ice cream or speaking to someone. Make a list of priorities in life and get started one by one.

Hello,
I send many hugs to you.  Anytime you lose someone that you cared about, there will be a mourning process.  You have to push through the mourning and move forward.  Sometimes these things can be like a loop in our minds that keep playing over and over.  You have to muster up the strength to move on.  I agree that you are the only one that can make you happy.  I think that you should focus on things that make you happy and if you do not know, try new things.  As far as the job situation, hang in there, keep the faith.  I do not know if you believe in God, but I believe the saying “Disappointments are a way of God saying, be patient, I have something better for you.

That's a lovely quote

Many hugs, kiddo. I've been where you are now, and I believed there was no hope. The fear and sorrow is paralyzing, but it's just grief - you will mend. My grandmother told me something good in my time: do something that you think is completely selfish, for yourself, for a few moments everyday, and look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I'm fine, today, just at this moment".

I thought she was crazy, but I did it: told myself I was ok, and did something for myself, even if it was only 2 minutes that I could get alone. And it worked in time. Sometimes we love someone too hard, and it's hard to let go, but we must. All things pass, you see.

Try for 2 minutes a day, but do it everyday: tell yourself it will be ok, take a deep breath, and go on. It won't be easy: you won't mean it for a long time, and may cry while you do it; just acknowledge that, and keep trying. It will be true one day.