Do you ever find yourself trying so so hard with friends, family, significant others to realize not only that you love and care more, but are completely disposable if you do ar say anything, even well meaning, to garner a negative or unpleasant reaction?

I am not negative, but cynical. I wasnt born cynical, life has taught me that lesson. I get scared I am doing the wrong thing for myself and get caught up comfort at the expense of myself. Stability at the expense of excitement and love.

Sigh, and work is fine, perfectly ok, but i am scared to moved because i feel like i would betray someone who is no longer living to look after someone and that i would fail and make my situation worse.

Sacrifice stability and lonliness for a possibility of love and excitement, or sacrifice and end up homeless and worse.

so much easier said then done. thoughts?

oh and i cant sleep

While through life we have ups and downs, it is only through the fire of life one learns that to truly love others is to love thyself first dear!!! so untl you are ready have 100 hugs from me!!!!!!!

thank you, today was a better day