Hi all, :smt006
I've been with this guy for the past 11 months, have tried over and over again to keep him happy and it seems like it's never good enough. We got into a huge fight two weeks ago (on Wednesday) and he's been ignoring my calls and text messages as if I no longer exist. At least the last time he had the decency to tell me it was over, this time, just the complete silent treatment. No matter what I say or do, apologize, beg for forgiveness, absolutely nothing. On top of that I found out last week that my dads cat scan came back with a black cloud over his heart being a tumor. He needs to go for surgery to have a biopsy. My friends don't seem to be around much for support and tried reaching out to the guy and nothing. I've sunken into a deep depression where I don't have the energy or desire to do anything and I feel completely and utterly hopeless. I tried seeing a therapist, that didn't do anything except make me realize how much of a mess things are even more. I just wish I knew if my dad will be okay, if the guy will come back. So much stress right now and no-one to turn to.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I am no psychic but I can tell you that things will get better. I think you should give your boyfriend some space. I think he is still angry over the fight but he may cool down in the upcoming days. Wait for him to contact you. Give it about a week. If he doesn't contact you assume its over and focus on your dad. He is the one you should be spending time with. I hope he will be ok. Pray for him and be there to support him. He needs you to take care of him and may be feeling depressed right now too. If anything happens to him, God forbid, you will regret if you don't spend time with him now. my father died when I was 5 so I know the feeling of losing someone and feeling like I could not be there for him. May everything work out in your favour.

Hi littledee..
this is posted in i need a hug, so this is not a reading...
But you should ask yourself this..
Do you really want that cold, selfish, inconsiderate jerk back, or would you be far better of leaving the door open to accept a lover that you deserve.

what would your father think about a man who treated his little girl so appallingly.  I'm sure he would be less than impressed. His advice would likely be something along the lines of kicking his pathetic butt to the kerb and telling you that you can do better.
This man being out of your life right now frees you up to give your attention to the things and people in your life that really matter.

Much love to you littledee you are far stronger than you know, .. you wont know your true strength until you wean yourself off this feeling of need for that unhealthy relationship.

Life may not deliver what we want, but it will give you what you need.

Its time to embrace the awesomeness of littledee.
Doors are open to you right now, its just up to you what one you want to take, the healthy one or the one that you really should step out of.

My dad dislikes the mere thought of him and has from the beginning. He also doesn't know him, he just knows what I tell him when we're fighting. Although me and my father live in the same house, it might as well be two different planets. He never took care of himself in the first place and also is a smoker with a drug problem. I've been spending as much time as possible with him but it's hard to be strong right now when I don't have the boyfriend to lean on, my closet family is on vacation, my parents are divorced and it seems my mom is rather angry I'm going through this with the boyfriend, and my friends are very wrapped up in their own lives. I'm sick of feeling weak and I'm not use to it either. I'm trying to stay strong for my dad but he's acting like it's not even a big deal when I think it's the end of the world. He understands what I'm going through and wants to go kick this guys ass which is what he deserves. I will leave the guy alone and give him space, I'm just afraid it's too late. I wish I didn't have so many things going on at this one time, it seems as if everything is just crashing down around me and there's no sense of relief in sight.

yea it is hard to see the positive in a situation when your heart is breaking. I know I have been there myself.
From my own experience it would have been far easier had I made the choice myself to get rid of "him" without anyone else's input.. Unfortunately it diddnt go like that, and I also had to suffer the long drawn out wishing he was back..
then I realized the main thing I really wanted was just for him to care enough to feel remorse for treating me badly... nay.. I needed for that..
In fact it took me many years for me to truly thank god for unanswered prayers ( and wishes and spells, chant and rants and all the rest of it )
You could take my experience and save yourself eons of pain.. in fact given all that is going on with you, your plate of emotional matters spilling over you really should.

Karma is a patient teacher, have faith and know deep in your heart that one day he will know that he wronged and feel it.. But give that up to the angels to be dealt with accordingly.. You really do have enough on..

as for dad.. he seems to need you to lighten up. You feeling sick over him is not what he needs, regardless of his history, he is a loving father to you and does not want you to  suffer. Im feeling he would sooner avoid a drama. Pushing him into a confrontation with this isnt an ideal way to go.

OO and forgive him his self negligence, as I hope one day my kids will forgive me,, it sucks knowing they judge me .. hey parents are human too, and sometimes we do silly things, things that we hope our kids dont do. On one hand we love that our kids chose a healthy path on the other we hate that they form an opinion of us based on our stupid choices, and not on our love for them.

As you said this is a real mountain of heartache.. lets try breaking it down into bite size.. Deal with each thing as it comes. the verdict isnt back yet..

You can get though this.. you dont have a choice in that. Put your faith in you, trust in you and be a friend to you.