As many humans before and after me will find-it's terribly hard and disappointing to go down a road for so long, and see so many signs telling you you're on the right road, and then finding yourself at a dead end. First, all you've been through has been wasted, and second, you have to go all the way back from where you came to start over.
As I'm sure anyone would say, it's the experience we gain on the journey that's important, why do I still see signs telling me to keep on track? If fate guides us where we are supposed to go, and everything happens for a reason, then how could these signs, these omens be wrong?
I gave her love. I gave her the purest love that was inside of me. She took it, shook it up, and handed me back a list of bullshit excuses.
Schizophrenic.
What am I to learn from this experience? That love is for fools? That if you try and try and TRY AND TRY and never lose hope, that eventually you will be caught a fool? That trust and forgiveness to someone will lead them to proving how much of a fool you are? That trying to save the one person who means the world to you is a foolish endeavor?
Why would anyone want to learn these things? Why would fate willingly allow me to take these lessons with me?

Or is it such a simple thing as going after that which you want most, no matter what stands in your way. Eventually, down the road, you will get it, and the nectar from the fruits will be so sweet. That you can understand happiness does exist, and it has a form you can see with your eyes. A form you can love and protect from harm. Someone you can comfort and be all that you've always wanted, and never would have gotten unless you went through hell to get it.
If just for a short while, then taken away yet again.
Is that not life? Something sweet for a short while until it is inevitably taken from you? Life is sweet. Life is bitter. Life sucks. Life is the sun. Life is death. Life is watching from that shoreline and seeing death slowly coming towards you, and you don't care. All you need to know is that the sun shines. The clouds rain. The thing you want will eventually find you on this shoreline, because it is a single line, and we all walk it. The same line. Every one of us.

Winds so strong as to break my grasp of you. Can't see anything better to do than get a sailboat and ride out in to that ocean we can all see, yet stay out of. Towards that dark cloud we all see, and stay away from. One more adventure, taking these things I've learned on my quest and pitting myself against something I know I can't beat. Is it so different than what I was after before? No, but maybe I can have the same outcome. I may dance with death for a time. I may even win eventually, but there will be a round two. There will be a round three. There will be a round four. Eventually death will get lucky. That's how it goes. Death gets lucky.

A big Grandpa hug to you, and a hope that you can find the calmness that is needed for a good life

Let me try to explain....

If we as humans always was able to pick the right path....was always able to defeat every obstacle with ease...had success in everything we did....what life would we then have?...a dull one...an average on...no ups...no downs.

Every mistakes we do here in life is a lesson, because it is only from our mistakes we can learn...if we succeed then we know it...and can't learn it again

When we feel down...very down...then we have learned that feeling, and we are able to enjoy the feeling of happiness....we are able to enjoy the feeling of success.

If we bring this learning along, then we will hopefully not do the same mistakes again and again....even if some do

Many times when we feel down, we start blaming ourselves for our misfortune, and the more we do this, the more we teach our BRAIN that so is the fact.

Of course this is not the fact....only if you by purpose do the same mistakes again and again are you to blame, and I think few of us do it with purpose

So it is mandatory that you learn to love yourself, that you learn that in order to have a "sweet life" you must also experience the bitter one....but the bitter one can be smoothed out if one have the right positive attitude, and look at life as something we need to explore, and create for our self.

Always remember that a Negative outlook on life will burn your energies, life will be very hard to carry, few thing will give you happiness, because you will always see obstacles ahead.

A Positive outlook on life, will smooth out the downs, will make you able to enjoy every win, will make your brain more open for solutions instead of hindering...in short will make you a better life.

For me you look like a smart fellow, but you have one big drawback, you are not able to let thing go.

We as humans can have some control of ourselves, but we can never have control of another human if they don't want it....
If we love a person, and this person don't return this love...well then its a pain...but it is a pain we must get rid of...because it only hurt us and no one else...it don't bring you the person...it don't bring you any happiness.

I have only one thing to say...let it Go....be able to handle rejections...because they will then make you stronger.....carry them with you, and they will only make you weaker, and give you a lousy life.

Well well...another big Grandpa hug...and a hope that you start focusing on the positive aspect with life....it will give you great benefits in the future

I appreciate your insight, grandpa. I've known for a while that my biggest mistake through my experience with this is that I can't let it go. It's brought me both pain and pleasure as a result, and maybe I've confused you a little.
My love was returned, and my dedication/hope/obsession was rewarded. It just didn't last long.
I can let so many things go-just not this. I've been told the only way to forget is to replace-and how do you replace your dream girl?

Here is the hug.... A hug of nurture and emotions.....

Hello! Rhtobello
                            Good after noon,very nice topic about truth, which made me to read again and again.Hope you will be posting more and more in forum.Bye.