Truely.. When does the crabby stuff end and the good stuff begin?

Too long has it been this way, yet to find that small hope, that small bit of happiness that has eluded me for way to long.

Im so tired, so sick of what is happening right now, no escape from it, no way of getting out of nothingness to the bright side.

I need a hug so badly, some guideance, something more then what is now.

I sometimes think there is nothing more then this, what have i left other then getting in my own hole and covering it up with the dirt.

I need a hug so badly it hurts.

I just want the good to start, my life to start, so many pains and hurtings, so many let downs and doing nothings, so many days just sitting here staring at this god forsaken screen.

*sigh*

When does the happy start?

It starts when you decide it is going to start.  When you decide to stop 'punishing'  yourself for who you are, and embrace, love and accept it.  When you decide what 'has happened to you'...happened to teach you a lesson, which you find, embrace, and give thanks for.

It starts when you change your perception of what is good and what is bad, and how you intend to use it for good and growth.

It starts when you decide it is going to start.

It starts now, if you do say so .

Sometimes we are blind with all the negative stuff around us and we miss to see the things that really matter. I am sure you have something really nurturing and good around you and you can start by yourself!

Try everyday to say thank you for the small things that makes you happy, even if it is just a cup of tea, but enjoy it and be grateful for it. I am sure from a cup of tea you will go and say thank you for bigger things in your life.


Here you have a big hug for you!

Find a happy spot,   maybe in the corner of your mind,  or special place where yu feel happy and peaceful.   Visit it mentally, spiritually, and/or physically as often as yu can.   Make it longer and longer until the dark cloud shrinks smaller and smaller.   Find that little brilliant patch of tourquoise blue that breaks through the dismal gray and let yur heart sing.

First, I send you a big warm hug!

Second, let me tell you suffering depends from nothing but us. Really, it's just a matter of perspective. The minute one decides to stop suffering, the minute one learns to see the good in everything, is the minute it gets better, instantly. Learn to feel good no matter what happens, no matter what anyone does or doesn't. It takes time to master, since many of us are so used on *depending* on any circumstance, but our world really comes from within. And we make it by the way we feel.