My girlfriend of three years said this to me six days ago on Monday.  Things were fine. We never argued or fought. I never cheated on her. She never cheated on me. She'd spend a few days at my house every week and I'd spend a day or two at her house every month.  She said I was too distant and she loved me but didn't think she was IN love with me.  She felt like she was holding me back and didn't make me happy anymore and it killed her to see me change so much.  I don't feel like I have changed.  I've had a very bad year. Lost a lot.  Two of my best friends. My little brother went crazy. My dog of 13 years died.  She was the most important thing in my life. I was completely blindsided by it.  I admit to being a little distant though, but we spent every day together even if we weren't together in person we'd talk online or on the phone for several hours everyday. My work is very draining at times and I know that's no excuse. We agreed to end it on Monday, and I was composed. I tried to talk her out of it but when she said she thought it was too late I said okay if that's how you feel I'll let you go.  She started crying and said "No Don't say that"  

Tuesday she texted me and said I'm sorry I still love you. I know you probably dont want to talk to me but I am here. I want to see you for Valentine's Day.  Call me. I called her and we talked. She seemed like she was hurt but calmed down, I was hurt too.  We made plans then she said she was gonna go get something to eat.  Two hours later her mother called me and said she wasn't letting me see her, and it was over. She didn't love me anymore.  I felt her mother had no place making that decision for her or telling me if it was her decision.

I decided to surprise her on Valentine's Day and try to sweep her off her feet and got some flowers and a teddy bear, wrote a note in a card and went to her house.  Maybe that surprise romance was what she needed.  Her mom said she wasn't there and wouldn't tell me where she was. She said she'd give her the gifts and my message, but she didn't think she would change her mind.  I always heard passion in her words and felt it in her actions and saw it in her eyes. I don't know if she found a new guy, if she was out with her friends, or if she was there and didn't want to see me.

A month ago her and her mother asked me to move in and I said I couldn't leave my brother alone in his state of mind just yet.  Her mothers husband died 5 years ago and shes been miserable ever since and tried to drag Shai down with her.  Whenever she is with me her mother texts her non-stop talking about how lonely and miserable she is.  When I said no I think her mother got scared I was going to have her move in with me and as soon as Shai felt a little unhappy she started feeding into it.  Relationships have worked through cheating, constant fighting, etc etc.  We never did any of that stuff, and now she just seems to have given up on it. I've been on a waterfast since Tuesday. I can't eat if I wanted to. Whenever I try to sleep nightmares of her wake me up, or random voices screaming do.

I just needed a hug, and to rant.  It'd be better if I saw it coming but I always felt she and I were supposed to stay together.

hello,
first of all here is a huge HUGGGG for you. I do feel for you. But life goes on. you never know what the future has in store..so keep a positive outlook ( i know it looks difficult at this point).. just give yourself some time and see how you feel about it.

sweetie here is a huge hu...much love and huggies

sounds like she does in fact want out, but after 3 years she can't do it "cold turkey"

Sounds like she wants to wean herself off of you.

Walk. Don't look back. If you drag this out it will crush you.

I have been there and I know the pain you have. That awful pit in your stomach. The sleeplessness. That lack of appetite. This is going to hurt for a very long time.



Hug for you friend.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Here's a big hug. The fact that the mother called to tell you it was over is cold, and strange. Who would make their mother break up with someone they've been dating for 3 years? I know it hurts now but give it time.