Last night I got upset over a very little thing...my brother texted me for my grandmothers zip code.  

The thing is, I rarely hear from him unless he's asking for something like this.  I have to call HIM if I ever want to talk to him and most of the time I get voicemail.  Then I realized I hadn't talked to my other brother since I had to call HIM to find out if he got the package I sent for his kids.  He got it, but did I get a thank you? No.  *sigh*

Except for my dad calling me to say he'd need to stay overnight at my house while he came through town, I haven't talked to my parents in nearly 3 weeks.  Again, called only when they needed something.  

THEN to top it all off.  For years my mother has been at odds with her mother, which has in turn trickled down to her brothers.  Of my three uncles, only one talks to me..the others ignore me because of the incident between my mom and grandma.  The rest of the family has pretty much done the same even though I continue to talk to my grandmother and love her dearly.

So today,  I saw an old family friend's (I saw her as an aunt growing up)facebook page where she made a comment about my cousin being her "oldest niece..."  

I'm the oldest girl in the family.    That REALLY hurt.  

why does this bother me so much?  I keep telling myself they're not worthy if they'll ignore us just because of something that was none of their business to begin with.  Yet it does bother me.  There's nothing I can do about it because my mother isn't willing to bury the hatchet with her mother.  

I don't know why it bothers me that I don't hear from my family.  They all have their own lives to lead, but it just pisses me off that they only contact me when they want something.  I never get a "howya doin" call.

All of this has made me mad on more than one occasion, but this time it just seems to be worse and it's making me NEED to cry.  



Thanks for reading.  

I give a big Grandpa hug to you, your story is sad...but in the Western world started to be normal.

I think we have lost something on our way to be "successful", and more focus on the core family then the whole family.

This is not something that have started with you, but more back in the 60's when the way we brought up our children should be so free, and where their self was in focus.

I remember back to my father, who had 9 hours job, 6 days a week, wife and 5 kids, and still time to visit his family and friends.

With the introduction of TV, which we got in late 1950's, we noticed a big drop in the time we had for other family members, and visits started to be scared.

I have still 2 living siblings, but only one keep contact, the last one we must contact ourself if we want connection...there is very little contact with their children, due to the fact they we never learn them to know.

So yes...your story is sad....so is mine...but I don't think we are unique.

It is clear that what we learn our children is what they will to when grown up....if parents are good to create big family events there is a good chance that the kid when grown will keep the tradition.

So in a way...we parents are the one to blame....and to go around carry bad thoughts from disputes, and avoid family on that reason is direct silly, and only show that "our pride" is one of our curses

Well well...have another big hug...seems I put out my own frustration too

Thanks Rhutobello, I appreciate the grandpa hug.  My grandpa's have passed away and I do very much miss their hugs.  

The thing about my family is we USED to be very close, USED to have the big family gatherings once a year and USED to talk to one another all the time.  But my brothers have gotten married, had kids and moved all over.  My grandfather passed away and somehow my mom and grandma became at odds with one another.   It's very odd and I'm not used to it.

Maybe I just need to find myself a man and not worry about it?  

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

Rhutobello is right. Novadays, family is not  as important as it used to be in the past. Not only in the USA, as I can read, but also in Europe where I live. Times have changed and they still do. However, I think that long ago even if people didn't like each other, they remembered that they are a family and it obliged them to respect each other (usually) and to spend time with each other.
The whole situation bothers you because everybody wants to have a family (consciously or unconsciously). Family is supposed to be supportive to create in us the feeling of being loved, necessary, and safe. If you don't feel it, something inside you usually tells you that it's not normal situation. You think that you can live without this support because you probably used to do so but actually you crave for it unconsciously.
I think I know what you feel because my family also is mostly like this and have always been. Usually I don't care and I say that I don't need them but sometimes comes the moment of consideration and it turns out that it hurts me a lot. Especially when I compare myself to people whose families seem to look better.
However, the truth is that members of your family that you describe are really not worth your interest. I can see that you are a good and emotional person. No wonder that you feel rejected but remember that there are many people in the world and not only blood relationships can make us close to each other. Take care of your relationships with friends; it should help. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends.
I give you a great hug and wish you good luck!