I have been in a committed relationship for the past three years. In the middle of the first year, he slept with another girl.
Although I have since forgiven him, I am finding it now impossible to trust anyone of the female persuasion.
He was close with a girl he used to work with (he has since found another job) and she feels more than just friendship for him. She consistently texts him out of the blue, saying "goodnight" or anything else small. I think she is trying to elbow her way in to my relationship. Today, she is driving him to work. She offered to, and as he had no other way in, he accepted. This drive is considerably out of the way for her. They are going to spend twenty minutes in the car together, and it's already started.
He doesn't seem to understand my reasons for disliking him spending time with her. I have expressed my concerns, but he only makes me feel stupid. The thing is, girls know girls. I know the way the female brain works, you don't go out of your way to do something for an attractive male friend who has a girlfriend if you don't want something from him.

That's only my first problem.

Everything in my life is bad, now. For the past... most of my life, I have suffered from severe depression. In the past six months, it has gotten considerably worse. I have repeatedly expressed my need to get help to my parents, but they only seem to write it off as moodiness. When I told my father, at first he seemed to care, but now it just seems like it's gone out of everyone's mind.
I can hardly be around people anymore.
Everything anyone does irritates me, from he way they stand, to the way they breathe, to the little mannerisms that define who they are as people. Everything grates on me, and drives me insane.
I am beginning to think there's something really wrong with me.

I haven't slept in weeks. When I do sleep, I dream of cutting off my legs, or what it would be like if the aforementioned girl annoyance were to get what she wanted. It is truly driving me insane.

I don't know what I need. I have no one to talk to. All I can do these days is cry.

The thing is, crying isn't going to help my situation. Crying will make me appear weak and pathetic to the one I love, he will not want me anymore, he could turn to this other.
Do you have any idea what that would do to me?

First of all...a BIIIIGG Grandpa hug to you!

It hurts to read your story, BUT your story is not unique, it happen several times each day around the globe, that one part hurt the other by infidelity.

Since most of the time a such action include one of each sex, it is wrong to start to not trust the males or females as group, but more start to evaluate your relationship with your partner.

In order to go on in a partnership after such an experience, call for an absolute forgiveness, else your doubt will destroy the relationship over time, and also your ability to love, because you don't have the trust anymore.

By us not trusting our surroundings (relations) we create a negative environment.

This will lead to more discussions, and blames are easy to be thrown, which again might lead to more and more depressions, because our energies are vanishing, and we don't get those positive impulses to get it back.

A person who trust his/her partner allow him/her to do a lot more (inside our rules) then one who have got doubt.

A relationship that shall function need to build on mutual respect and care for each other, and the wish to grew old together.
________________

Another Biiig Grandpa Hugg and then over to my recommendation.

You are 19, and you both have been together for 3 years.
When you fell in love with him in an age of 16 you both was still "kids", and in a time period where we develop much more each year, then later in life.

I think the boy you might have had a crush on in the start, haven't develop in same speed as you, he might still want to fool around...he might still not want to have any commitments, but on the other side he might not want to loose you either, he will have it all.

I ask you to evaluate your situation, and hopefully end it, in an age of 19, I can't see that this relationship can be a fruitful one, for the ages to come, and by ending it, he might do a serious decisions to change....but don't give him much time.

Many are afraid to end the relationship because they are scarred to be alone, they feel defeat, they make pink thoughts about everything will become better....often it will not....it is just "waste of time".

Don't hate him, don't hate the females, just take it as one of life's lesson, if you are coming through this, then you are coming out stronger, and life is like a rose....it has beautiful flowers, but if you grab the stalk you will be hit by its needles, first time it will be easy to be hurt...next time one are more aware....but the flower is so nice that life must just be enjoyed, even if it hurts now and then.

By ending you relationship, you get rid of the cause for your worries about him, you will again be able to focus on the positive around you, you might start to live and be happy again....and suddenly a new prince will be by your side

Good luck ...and another Hug

That was such great advice that I'll have to try it for myself since I'm having some of the same trust issues with him and not a "her".  I'll read this article a lot because it's great.  Even though my situation is a little different where I can't get rid of "him" because "he" keeps coming over.  I guess the best thing for me to do is to move.  One thing I have learned over the years is that a woman knows when a man loves her by the way he treats her.

I will not try to compete with Grandpa.

A little add-on; if you have self respect should you put up with selfish, immature or dispespectful behaviour?

The answer is not necessarily no, but whatever you should do you should understand that anyone else's behaviour is firstly to do with themselves, not you. What is to do with you is how you respond to it - isn't that empowering?

You may feel you need a more mature and committed relationship. Would that be right, and if so how do you get it?
You may feel that how you feel about yourself should not be affected by how other people treat you.

What is really warm and helpful is that, however you decide to deal with this, exploring your own feelings with honesty will make you a better and ultimately happier person - isn't that wonderful?

Good luck,

Mike

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies