K then, here is a hug!
If ever you need to chat, I have an open line. Thought that I would extend my hand as I see what a warm welcome you have gotten thus far.
As to the draining, why on Earth luv would you let him? What he says, that you are not good enough. Piss on them!
I walk not to the left or to the right. So I study a variety of things. But this has caused me to be rebuked by both parties. Not light enough, Not dark enough. Blah, Blah, Blah!

I've been called evil, too dark to be their friend. Yet I would give you my last dime if you needed it. Which conflicts with the other side. My heart goes out to you.
So study what you are drawn to, sorting the truth from fiction. This is your life, your path. So if the stage of your life for the time being is Satanism/Chaotic so be it.
Do no harm. Means to self as well as others.
And sometimes what we see is not always what it means. Lost in translation the communication becomes corrupt by our own thought.
I drempt that I was one of a million pieces only to find myself whole in everything I looked at. Only to reshatter the memory.
Best wishes to you on your journey. Love the pic by the way!
Safe Journey