ok all im so confused, this could be long but i appreciate anyones help. i have been single for a year and recently quite happily like it. then at a contest recently a young man took a shine to me and has recently contacted me since and we have met up a few times. he is really into me and im just like hmmm not sure. my last relationship a year ago was bad, i was cheated on and not treated well, so since then iv kinda shut down to men.

this new guy, his attitude and how he treats people is priceless almost everything you would look for in a guy (he a sagattarius) but heres one problem. i am attracted to him but not as i generally would like in someone im interested in...i am a little shallow and generally go by peoples looks. i KNOW i shouldnt and im ashamed to admit it. this guy isnt seriously over good looking on the outside, but the inside he is. i dont know if i can be with someone who isnt generally my type. if he didnt make the moves, id still be happy single which i guess i still am. i hope im making sense....help me :(

People are our teachers.  We create each experience on this earth to learn something about ourselves.  He is holding up a mirror.  What do you see?  You've already mentioned shallow.  Do you like it?  What permission does being shallow give you?  Permission to be alone?  Avoid true intimate relationships?  You "Guess"  you're happy being single.   All of this makes you feel uneasy and uncomfortable.  Why?  Only you have the answers.

On a side note, open up and allow.  Give this gentleman a chance...and give yourself a chance to really get to know someone without thinking in the background 'are we going to date', 'is this going anywhere'.  Put judgements aside, allow, and be in joy.

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

i dont like what i see, i dont like it at all in myself. although i had found i was happier on my own, better than having any hassle, i also remember what its like to be with someone else. i think he is showing me this that not everyone is bad.

before the one that cheated on me, i was with someone for 4 years. it ended fairly rough so after those two (there was one or two more before this, i havent had loads as i am so picky but...)i was like, nope no more for me.

i think i'll be friends for a while, and see where it takes us. im going to try and open up and let him in. i feel very much to myself, almost like i have a barrier up. i need to try and break this down...somehow. im blessed he is trying (in a nice way) he is so understanding and says all the right things....

Any time you try to solve a problem, the answers have to be "I......"...You can't point the finger at someone and say "I have a wall at me because HE cheated on me."  You have to say "I have a wall up around me because I.........".  The answer is never the other person.  They are only the teacher.  Usually there are more than 1 question to be answered in this process.  

"I have a wall u paround me because it gives me permission to be a victim".

"I feel like a victim, because......I feel _______________"

I feel _______________ because.....I think I am ___________"  (Examle here 'unloveable')

I am loveable.  I love myself enough to take care of myself.  I am honest in relationships, and I deserve honesty.

Thank you Mr. Cheater for showing me that.

(purely examples..fill in the blanks yourself........j)