I just need someone to say that I'm not going mad and what I think is happening is possible.
I have umpteen serious health problems, which I understand, know how to handle, and know how far my body will go before it complains (although I'm not that good at taking my own advice and do push it to its limits - and over!)
But - here is the problem - what is happening now is something totally different - its not the sort of thing that conventional medicine can deal with. I'm seeing a great, well renound Practitioner on a regular basis - and yes, we are getting there. My whole body seems to be in a state of 'breakdown' The immune system is faltering, as are the kidneys and liver, my joints are inflamed as the digestive enzymes in them fight the toxins in my body, my gut is 'leaking', I'm irritable (to say the least), tired, depressed and lost. I'm one of those people who need to know the why's and wherefores of whats happening - and I don't. My spiritual practises the past 2 years have not been as good as they should be due to moving and renovating the house - BUT - thats now done.
Anyway, sorry to ramble - I finally decided to ask my Guides for help - which they, of course, did - and the answer I got was "Your body is preparing itself for ascension"
Comments and hugs would be greatly appreciated.

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

 Angel Hug!  Is there anything we can do to help?  Besides sending you healing energy...and love....

Do you want to talk about how you feel?

One more HUG!

I'm very sorry to hear about the hardships you are facing and I send you a thousand hugs and well wishes.

I feel a great deal of sympathy for you, for I have gone through serious health problems in the past. I know what it feels like to have kidney failure (which was caused by peritonitis from a botched appendectomy) and nobody understand why it was happening -- some doctors even asserted it was somehow MY fault. But it wasn't. Like you, my gut was leaking. And before they realized it, they were having me walk the hallways of the hospital to try to jump start my kidneys into working. By that point, I had septic shock.

And during that state of shock, I felt the sort of spiritual closeness that people close to death say they feel. And I prayed, because I knew I wasn't ready. And God/universe or possibly my Guides (not sure who, as I was only twelve) urged me to keep fighting, because I had more to do here on this plane.

What I'm getting at is this: do whatever is right for you. If you feel that now is not your time to go, fight as hard as you can against the odds. Be your own health advocate. My family and I had to be persistent in that hospital. We raised all sorts of heck until they brought in a young surgeon just out of school who took one look at me and knew instantly what the problem was. If it wasn't for that, I know the outcome would've been far different.

I'm by no means a medical professional. I'm not even training to be (I'm an English major),  but honestly, if your gut is leaking that's a serious problem. I don't know the particulars of your situation, but usually they would try to fix that, as it might in turn alleviate some other health problems.

You are not mad.  I'm definitely here to tell you you are not at all mad. In fact, going through something this painful can make you dangerously sane.

I hope I didn't upset you by standing on my soap box, but when I read your message, I simply felt I had to say something. If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to, you can always PM me.

Again, I'm very sorry to hear that you're feeling so unwell. I'm sending love and hugs your way!!

I am new to this place, but I wanted to express to you my thoughts with you.

I fully understand and appreciate what you say as my journey has a similar thread.
What I wish to extend to you is the possibility life presents us at the most sublime moment in one's life.

You see, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour late in my life and was given 24 hours to live if I did not have it operated on. The tumour itself was benign, but its location was preventing cerebral fluid from being released. At this time, I was also undertaking a University (College) degree.
To say I was frightened is an understatement, but I was surprisingly calm and accepted the situation and decided to meet the challenge and see what came of it.
The operation was a success and I went about my life with new vigour and appreciation of the opportunity given me.
I resumed my work and returned to study when a new challenge presented itself. As a result of the surgery, my short term memory was gone. I became despondent and depressed as I could no longer remember the simplest of things, let alone the volumes of material required from my study.
But, I continued on and fought my way through. After much perseverance and 11 years of study in total, I graduated.
I had learnt that there is life amongst the seeming ruins of ones life, and with time and much care, a bloom will spring forth from a once cold and lifeless soul. I simply believed the impossible.
A warm hug to you all....