I live with my aunt and uncle right now. I pay her rent and I dont bother them at all. I would think since I pay her rent, she would leave me alone and NOT got through my stuff and "check" if my room is clean or whatever. She is also very mean sometimes when her and my uncle are having problems. The thing that confuses me is that she thinks that I am a bad influence on her children, i dont do drugs or do anything that most people my age do (im still a virgin at 19) but her daughter has done stuff and my aunt lets her real niece go with my cousins anywhere and she's the one doing the drugs and drinking and having sex! i think this is entirely unfair. My uncle ( who is my blood uncle btw) is noticing that too and I think that this causes them more problems. I dont want to be a burden on them anymore ( my uncle says im not a burden and that he is actually happy that i can be a good influence on my cousins). i just needed to get this off my chest. thnx for reading

Gosh, that's a bad situation. Here's a hug!

Sometimes, people will just pick a person to blame their problems on for no reason. Perhaps your aunt is doing this. And I'm sure it hurts when your own relative treats you like that (even if they're related by marriage).

Your aunt and uncle having problems is not your fault. Try not to let it get you too down, because things will work themselves out. After all, it sounds like your uncle loves you very much and I can imagine if your aunt keeps pushing him, he'll say something to hurt about it.

Have you tried telling your uncle how you feel? Don't think of it as a burden to their relationship. If your uncle is someone you trust, tell him how you feel. Don't assign blame or judgment. Just spill your heart out. It may persuade him to open up a healthy dialogue with his wife about the way she treats you.  

Try to promote healing in your mind. Think about happiness and brush off your aunt's attitude. She has no reason to dislike you, as you said. So, the problem is all hers -- even if it does put a strain on you.

One of the most 'disarming' sentences in the world, no matter what situation you're in, but especially volatile ones is "I'm sorry you feel that way."  If someone is accusing you of doing something 'wrong' (which is only a perception in their eyes, if you know you are not) is to say "I'm sorry you feel that way."  Followed by "What do you think I can do to help?"  In this situation there is absolutely no suggestion she can make.  

You're obviously there for numerous reasons...one is to be a buffer for your uncle, another is a financial arrangement everyone has agreed upon, and I'm sure there are others.  The question is never really what is going on around us, but how are we handling it?  With integrity, grace, dignity?  Everything is a learning experience for us...usually to learn thru dichotomy.  You're learning how to treat others...With a lack of respect, you are learning to treat others respectfully.  With being accused, you are learning not to needlessly accuse.  

Being a renter doesn't necessarily give you rights to be left alone.  Every 'landlord' has the right to inspect the property.  But you can stand up for yourself, and ask that your personal belongings not be gone thru.  Ask what is offensive, ask what you can do better, and other than that, and set a clear expectation for privacy beyond that.

Finally, maybe it is time you branch out on your own.  That is always an option.

Remember, let your inner light shine brightly, treat others better than they treat you but expect the same, and take care of yourself without harm to another.  Feel free to vent at any time, but then form a course of action.  Venting only goes so far. :)

Sounds like a very hard situation. You are doing the right thing by staying out of trouble. Try not to get sucked into the drama that is caused by the strife in your aunt and uncle's marriage.  My guess would be that your aunt is fully aware of the fact that you are a good person and that her daughter is not so perfectly behaved and  that she is haing a tough time coming to grips with it. People often look at others to blame when they can't take responsibility for their own lives and problems. As or her going through your stuff that is just plain wrong but there's not a lot you can really do without making a lot of tension. Make sure that there is nothing in your stuff to make your aunt upset  and if you want to ge the message accross nicely that maybe she shouldn't be in your stuff... then fill your drawers with positive self-help healing messages. 'Good - morning to me... it's a lovelyday, no matter what the world brings me, I will hold my head up high and smile, be responsible and act properly in accourdance with my beliefs. I will thrive to be the best person I can and rspect all those around me no matter what life throws a me today...' etc. Keep notes of such type in places that your aunt will find and make sure they are not targetted at her and she will only benefit from reading them rather than getting angry...  You will also benefit!

Stay strong and continue to be a good influence on your cousin. This is really important and she is lucky to have you.

Big HUG!!!

I agree with everything said here and would also like to say that you need to stay true to yourself.  The aunt's anger and behavior could stem from guilt and denial of her own life and children.  Her behavior is also affecting her relationship with your uncle and that is between them.  It sounds like you are very responsible and have good morals for someone so young and you should be proud of yourself for who you are.