dear all,

you are all so kind in this section of the site (and the site in general - but esp here). i posted months ago despairing over my life.
Things got better then have got worse again for me.I am moving away from an abusive situation, however the  move has triggered all sorts of werid feeling within me.

I realised that this home is the only thing that has been 'stable' in a very instable life (owing to endless badluck, men jiliting me for 10 years over and over, friends betraying me over and over, losing jobs throughout my whole life etc etc. so this has evoked fear and depression in me. the new area i am to move to doesnt feel safe and obvously isn't familar. even though i am escaping an abusive sitaution- i am scared of being on my own in the new sitaution. i have noone i can rely on or that cares about me- so this is scary.

in a  werid way- abusers are obssesed with you- so i guess it is this element i will miss (knowing someone in the world is concerned with me). not having friends that care bout me intensified the lonliness.

i met a guy that i fell in love with and vice vera 4 weeks ago. we couldnt have a relationship as he is not stable mentally. this really hurt me and has increased my depression. this kind of futility is a c ommon theme in my life. i have tried to help myself - and things do not seem to get better. i have tried 45 methods of healing over the past 15 years- things just get worse. i have never had a relationship or true friend.i feel so depresseda t the moment and dont even have enough monye to afford basic things in my new flat as i have been scammed etc. sorry for such a long post. i just dont know what to do and would be greatful for any help/words of advice.
thanks

sweete here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

I know I am new here, thus you don't know who I am but my name is Thay   .

I understand exactly what you're going through as I myself am slowly breaking out of it. I felt as though with my situation the possiblity of dying from a broken heart would actually come true. And when it wasn't love, it was work and hating how everyone seemed to have it out for me. And when it wasn't that, it was friends who I thought could understand and support me but found out I was terribly mistaken.

But just when I thought that my life could not get any better and wished I would never wake up everytime I would lay my head to sleep, I had a realization. Life throws at you what it knows you can handle. Sometimes it feels as though you won't be able to make it but then stop and see that you're here now, you're asking for help.  That shows that you aren't ready to give up, that you have at least a little hope that things will get better.

It felt as if a million things were being placed on my shoulders but I have to take things one step at a time. You have to take things one step at a time. It feels as though the whole world is against you, but even if you have to pretend you have confidence it will make others see think that they're not effecting you and move on. This in turn will gather up your confidence.

Any new place is always a scary thing and if you have a feeling that it might be sketchy, take precautions and be careful at all times. I know there are places around where I live that I like this. I can't promise that everything will happen quickly but just know that things never stay bad forever.

I hope that I gave you some encouragement and made you feel at least somewhat better. *massive hug* I am a good listener so if you ever need to talk I am always here

Maybe try being your own best friend?  Meditate and listen to that inner voice, that tells you if something, or someone is right/wrong for you.  Be kind  & gentle to yourself.  Give yourself forgiveness and encouragement.  Sit and learn the lessons that keep playing out over and over in your life.  Learn their gifts.  Are you truly weak & vulnerable?  I don't think so.  But take some time, learn lessons starting with loving yourself, and knowing happiness coms from within, not without.

a huge hug for you and positive energy .... have faith in God , things will get better soon

many blessings