I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD and things were better than ever for a while but right before thanksgiving, i found out that my boyfriend of two years was really suffering from depression and his financial situation had gotten so bad that he was bouncing from friends house to friends house.  He was working almost everyday and couldn't seem to get ahead so now he's living with his aunt and starting therapy.  I love him so much and worry about him.  I want him to let be there with him thru his struggle.  He said he needed time to just work on him and i haven't heard from him since.  I'm confused and desperate to talk to him.  It brought up a lot of past pain and since then, i'm always tired and not making it to school.  I've tried everything I can think of to get myself out of this rut, nothings worked so far but I refuse to give up.  If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.  And if you could, keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  Thanks everybody

Hi Mia,

Sorry to hear about your situation honey... I can imagine it can't be easy!!

I'm 24 and in a bit of a situation where my boyfriend (or shall I say 'ex') also needs space. He suffers with anxiety, depression and panic attacks so I've seen how difficult situations can get. On the first hand, I feel completely frustrated and helpless and 'in a rut' as to what to do, but what I've worked out for myself in the long run is that if a guy needs space, you have to give it to him. I know my situation is probably completely different to yours, but with my 'guy', if he needs space, I have to give it to him otherwise he runs a mile!!! When his head is in the current state that it is, I know I can't put too much pressure on him; it only seems to make things worse. It's soooo frustrating and the separation between us at the moment has been the longest it's ever been, but I do feel that once he's sorted his head out, he'll come back around. I know it's hard and it's so painful when you really love somebody, but perhaps try what I'm doing which is do your own thing for a while. We're both so young Why don't you concentrate on yourself a bit more, go out with friends, etc and when he's ready, I'm sure he'll come back to you. If he loves you, he will want to talk to you eventually, be it take a day, a week or two months and whether or not it's for the relationship to keep going or end (if that makes sense? I'm hopeless at typing really ) It may be that all he needs is time to sort out his head and maybe the reason he hasn't contacted you yet is because he cannot deal with the intensity of a relationship, as well as the problems he is having to face at the moment.

I know my advice might not be the best, but it could be something to consider. And how about we keep each other posted with what's going on? It's nice to know that there are people out there in very similar situations and I'd like to hear what happens

Take care and I wish you all the luck in the world!

Steph

We should definately keep each other posted.  I tell other people about what's going on when they ask about him and no one understands it and acts like they've never heard of this happening before.  That just makes me so much more frustrated.  Your advice was really helpful but it was even more helpful knowing that someone else is in kinda the same position as me.  Thanks for reaching out and I'm sorry your going through the same thing, it sucks.  Keep me updated.  I look forward to hearing from you:)

No worries at all If you ever need to talk, just send me a message - we can help each other through it

So what is your plan of action now? Sounds silly, but I've been going out alot more, meeting new people, relying on my girly friends for support and having some 'me' time to get things into perspective. It's helped ALOT! You have to keep yourself busy.

I also understand completely about other people. I have family members and friends that do not seem to get the situation... it's difficult and it's one where there has to be alot of thought and time put into it. I know my guy isn't a bad person, but he has a lot of issues he needs to deal with (all to do with his upbringing) and there's also a lot going on in his career, which doesn't help! Just have a bit of faith and go with your gut. Trust your instincts - they're usually right, even if your instincts are telling you something you don't want to believe

Take care and speak soon!

xxx

I think you need to help yourself get out of your depression first. When your bf sees that you're up and going, i believe that he'll start to pick himself up. hope this helps.