I don't know what to do with my life. I'm 19 and it feels like I've got nothing more to experience, all it is is 'get a job', 'go to college' or 'you can't do this'   'it's dangerous'.

Why must everyone act like they know what the hell is right for me? Why does my family listen to a government, that doesn't care about them, rather than their own child who's been through all the stuff that they say will kill you. I guess you could say experience, but everyone's experience is different.

I write this as I can't sleep, rather than toss and turn, I seek advice.
I'm tired of all the dang setbacks, as a chronic drug user I try to cut back on my use of the heavier drugs, and when I do and I start to feel better about myself, then something happens and I get shot down and relapse again. My girlfriend thinks I don't love her. I have constant headaches, and my family thinks that I don't love them, because I isolate myself from them and spend more time with my friends, because I feel that they understand my pains. When I try to explain things to people, they don't even bother listening, and then they still get mad at me for not listening to them!


what is wrong with this world?!

better yet what is wrong with me...

Sometimes however my friends can't fill the void, and I'm left here comtemplating whether I should just stop hoping, and maybe then I wont get disappointed as much anymore you know?

I'm in great need of a hug.  

First of all *huggles* positive energy and my love going to you...

I cant give much advice but family always think they know what is best for you..It shows they love and care for you in a way...And they listen to everyone else but you...

I have been living on my own since i was 17 and now i am 22 im moving back home with my parents..Already i fear it lol,i mean dealing with them thinking im still 11 even tho i have a child of my own etc...I sort of know what you mean..I have always been a loner,i normally hide in my room or things like that when family get together...I stick to myself because,well i dont know why..Perhaps its because they dont listen to me either and i feel like im the bad one....People always tell me off because i never visit them but if they really wanted to see me they know where i live...But im always second best,the fill in girl...I too suffer from massive headaches and i dont know why they are there....I have never and will never do drugs but any person in a family would be worried about that even if they had played with drugs themselves etc....I always get told "you're not 22 going on 52" that may be true,but i am more mature than all of them put together sometimes lol...Ok im sort of going off track.

Have you tried to seek help?? ..You talk about things happening,you getting shot down and then you relapse..Maybe you need to have someone who you can share your problems with and not judge you....

Another *huggle* for you.. xx

Much love and hugs at this time, I can't offer anything except to say things will fall into place, eventually.  

I also hate to say this, but with drugs, they can mess up how you feel and think, they either give you false importence or paranoia, maybe be better to go to the doctors for alternative drugs to wean yourself off safely, and then really think about where things are going.  Is it possible for you to sit your family and girlfriend down and ask them for some breathing space to sort yourself out?  You're only 19 and are realising there is more to life than that, in order to move forward, you need to really think about what is important to you.  I'm sure if your parents and girlfriend realise that you are serious about this, they will listen.  

There isn't anything wrong with you, the world is a weird place to be living in right now, maybe to do with the cosmic shift that is supposed to happen soon, Nibiru approaching, or whatever, just believe in yourself, you'll get through this, as said things will fall into place and you'll understand why you are in this situation right now.  

As for friends, they are not living your life, only you know what you can do, and how best to live it fully.  What is your heart telling you?  Listen to it.  What do YOU want to do?  Listen to it.

Pst, it took me nearly 15 years to work out what I was doing was making me unhappy, I made a snap decision to move to a better place in my life, and am happier than I have ever been.  You're only 19, I'm ashamed that it took me longer and being way older than you to figure out stuff!

JJ

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

Yes... You'll get a big hug from me too! *HUGS*
*Sends lots of positive energy behind a pc screen*

I'm just around your age, and I think it is very difficult indeed. And - cliché - eventually, everything falls into place.