I feel like I need a huge, neverending bear hug because everyone in my life right now is trying to tell me exactly what to do with my life.  They're making a bad situation worse with all their putdowns and pressure.

I had a plan that I would go to massage school this fall til next summer and graduate being able to get a decent paying job at a vocation I could stand, and helping people as well. This would help me pay to support myself and start a photography business, which is what I really want to do.

But everyone around me is telling me that I am unrealistic for wanting to be a photographer, and that I am "not using my head" for wanting to go to massage school. Yes the school is expensive, but this feels right to me. Or at least it did....I was excited and so sure about it....until my family and friends started putting doubts in my head about it.

Now I don't know what to do. I'm feeling so apathetic and I find myself lying in bed thinking that it doesn't matter what I do anymore. I feel lost and that's why I need a hug.

Thank you all so much for listening, it really helps to know that there is a nice community like this that cares.

Marquitta,

(((BIG BEAR HUG)))

Okay so you were really excited until they told you that this was a silly idea.  But in your heart, did it feel like the right thing?  So many different uses for massage that does pay good money.  Photography equipment is expensive, sounds like you are taking the steps to get to where you want to be.  Finding one vocation you think you will like that helps people, that will help you save for your dream for the future.  Sounds like you have a plan, that is using your head. Sometimes they have the best intentions, not meaning to hurt, but they can. In the end it is your life, your choice.  I hope you feel the joy again, sounds like some peeps rained on your parade.  ((Another hug))

Safe Journey

Follow your heart, if you are not happy in a job, whats the point.

My S/O went to Massage school, U.C.M.T. (lindon U.T.)   Great school top in the nation.
It was not cheap at all,  there is good money in it, she is slowly building her own biz
instead of working for others and only getting a small cut.
But there is so much more if you get the right school than teaching you how to do a massage..
It will change you, and you will enjoy it.
As far as a Photrogapher ?sp?  Go for it.  There is good money there as well, although its not something
to count on to support a family until it gets built up, which takes many years..
But being a camera hound our self, and having relatives and friends that are in the biz,
i would not call that a bad dream.  
 I think if i could chose my profesion, freelance photo would be it..
But its just a fun hobby.  
 
Just research the school and make sure its a good one, you are going to pay the cash anyway,
might as well get the best education for the buck you can.

Oh on a side note, there are new laws coming down the pipe, before long in order to pratice massage
you will have to be Nationaly certified, which means accredited schools, which is going to open up a lot of
positions,  because a lot that are in pratice  now, either are not nationaly certified , or have let it laps.
There is some serious learning ahead of you in subjects that will challange you.
But if its what you want, go for it.
Its your life, in the end, your decision,  and if you do and dont like it, or it wont pay what you want..
its always something good to have on the side.

If I started to think about all the things I wanted to do when I was younger but didn't, or did in only a half-assed, scared way, because someone (usually my mother) had told me that they were stupid ideas and that I was just an unrealistic dreamer, I'd get really depressed.  (Of course, one has to always take responsibility for things, too--I do try to take responsibility for the fact that I listened.)  I'm pretty much (FINALLY!) over that at this point in my life, and I'm a lot happier and fulfilled than I've ever been.

Both massage and photography sound as if they'd be things that you love to do and could probably do very well BECAUSE you'd love them.  It's a wonderful thing to be able to make a living doing what you love--even if it takes a few years of really struggling before you are "successful" (however you want to define that) at it.

Trite as it sounds, it's YOUR life.  You're no longer anyone's child.  Don't rack up regrets by letting your dreams get stomped on by others.  Do it carefully and thoughtfully, but let the thoughts be your own, and go for it!  We'll be rooting for you.

Doe

P.S.  Have you done any photo-assisting as a means to work toward the photo studio?  My husband (for the time-being) is a photographer, and he and pretty much all of his friends started out by assisting established photographers.  The money's pretty good, and you learn a lot and get connections.  I'm just throwing that out as an option IN ADDITION to massage school--you can pretty much set your own schedule.  Just a thought...

sweetie here is a huge hug.....much love and huggies