I am so sad. By boyfriend is on cocaine (again).
He is ruining himself, me and our relationship. (again)

It is so strange he is completely unaware of the negative impact it has on him as a person and on me (as an empath), and our life together.
He only seems to see the relaxing side of it, he really doesn't see the wrong of it, and blames me for being so sensitive about the object.
But he really isn't a nice person to be with when he uses the white stuff.

I am so disappointed (again), so sad and so angry.
I am so over it!
But I love him so much  

I don't know what to do....

Hugs from me and lots of love.
Only he can stop his adiction and theres only with or without him, You will end up having to make your own choices as well and the outcome is bleek sorry. the violence that dwells within him will get worse as he becomes more dependant.
Please be careful.

Cheers Pete

Thanks a lot for hug. I needed the strength.
The stupid thing is that I already know that your words are absolutely true.
The reality is that he is a user. ( for about 18 years on and off, and about 80% of our 5 years together)
Another reality is, its not mine to decide what is best for him. (I can't ask him to stop, it doesn't help shit)

I only can decide what is best for me...
And instinctively I already know the answer. Clear as Ice.

Still I can't seem to follow my instinct with actions.
At first I was to blind to see the impact of his using, ( I also in pink bubble)
now I am just too pathetic and courage-less to just pack my bags or really set my boundaries.
And I hate it, because I don't like to consider myself as a weak person.
But some way it doesn't feel completely fair to leave him, its not that he is a bad man for me.

I know that one day the puzzle falls on its place.
Till that day comes, I just needed a hug today.

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies