I have a woman visiting from out of town, which was planned a while back in th4 mean time I've kind of falle for another woman, but I don't even know if I can have her she might not be a lesbian.

you should follow your heart

Good Luck!

You're in a tough position (meaning that, on top of just trying to decide if the woman you've fallen for is right for you, and if she might be interested in you as well, you don't even know if she's gay---things are complicated enough when you're straight!).

But I agree with ncloyd--you should follow your heart.  It doesn't sound as if you're in love with the woman who's visiting (maybe you were at one point?), otherwise you wouldn't have fallen for the other one.  It's not fair to the first one to pretend that you do love her, or to use her as a "backup" in case things don't work out with the second one, and I'm sure you won't feel good about it either.

My "advice", based on the little you've said (and I know that you asked for hugs and not advice), is to be as honest as possible with both of them, and with yourself.  Can you simply ask the second woman if she's attracted to women?  Does she know that you're a lesbian?  Has she given any "hints" either way?

In any case, if things don't work out with her (and I hope for your sake that you do), I think it's always best to hold out for someone for whom your love is real and sincere, and who feels the same about you.  Sometimes it's almost worse to have someone in love with you when you don't feel the same way than it is the other way around.

Again, I hope things work out for you.

Doe

well, the woman visiting is planed and from out of town and it is just a "visit" right?
So i would say, dont commit to anything just yet.
Dont deni your feelings from either.
Dont go into it looking to have both or anything like that....
although ... * ok i'm a guy, gota admit thats a image... *lol*
But .. back to the subject.. *lol*   dont hate me for having fun.

But.. your friend that is visiting , see where that goes, and enjoy the time you have with her.
but include the one you are interested in.
Go out on a outing with both.  as friends... nothing more..
see how you feel and where it leads you.

The only advice i can give is life is crazy, you have to go with you gut feeling..
no mater how crazy metnaly it may sound.

you dont want to look back 20 years later and still be wondering "what if"
that is a question that will drive you nuts.

by the way.