I've been in this relationship for almost three years now. In the course of the three years there have been a lot of things going on.

My man has a drug problem. I have known that from the beginning.

Five months into our relationship he left our home with my then 2-year-old daughter and didn;t come back. I reported it to the police. Three days later a police detective brought my daughter back to me. They found her with him in a crack house.

I gave him another chance.

To make a long story short, he has screwed up several times and been in jail four times. I try to be supportive, but he just keeps going back to the same old habit.

This time I had some say in his sentence because he stole my bank card and took $500 from my account. I told the judge that putting him in jail wouldn't accomplsh anything because he's been there before and it didn't do any good. I got him placed in "drug court"--a program designed to help addicts get cleaned up.

He absolutely hates this program because he has to answer for his actions. He's supposed to get a job so he can make restitution and pay off court costs. Well, he hasn't done that yet. He lives in our bedroom watching TV all day or has his nose in my computer on the internet.

I do love him and believe that we were brought together for a reason. But what can I do to get it through to him that I'm not going to support him any more and he's going to have to ghelp pay the bills, too?

If he screws up at any time during drug court he will do a year in prison. I've already decided that if he goes back to jail that I"m finished with him for good.
Anybody have any suggestions?

Not that it is my place to say, but I suggest at least keeping true to your promise to be done with him if he goes back to prison... it is admirable for you to have such a strong love for him, but it seems that perhaps he is not ready to be the kind of person who deserves that love.  Right now, he is causing pain and problems for you and for the people you care about.  His actions with your daughter put her in danger, and that is just not acceptable.  Maybe you were brought to him to show him that he cannot continue on the path that he is on and still be supported.  If he is able to change, and become someone worthy of your love and trust, perhaps you can start again.  But be cautious, because he has proved that he is not eager to change his ways, at least not now.  If he returns to prison, I suggest that you create a life with your daughter independant of him, and show him that your support depends on his actions, and his willingness to be the kind of person that deserves support.

I wish you the very best, and send good energy to you in these difficult times.

You are a good teacher for him as you have done all you could to get the message of consequence and responsibility through. The one thing we cannot do is live someone else's life for them. If he won't help himself then it looks like you have done all you can for him. Whatever happens next is up to him. His actions (or inactions) will decide his fate, and it will also mark a decision for you also. If he falls again then I believe it will be time for you to move on.

Hugs and strength to you.  

i think the 2 befor me sead it best seand you loves and the godesses blessing with a big hug

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies