[b][size=9][color=red]My husband and i have been separted for the past 2 years and 8 months. During this time, i have tried everything in my power to make our marriage work. I have done everything from helping him out financiall to being there for him when noone else has been.All he has done is make excuses of why he isnt there for me or our 2 boys. You see, during my marriage, i went thru physical, verbal and emotional abuse. He states that since i never went to the hospital that i wasnt physically abused despise the bruises and night mares i encountered. I ended up cheating on him(before it got to this point, i suggested counseling). The guy i cheated with told on me because i didnt want to leave mu husband for him. It happened once and that was it. Since then, his excuse is that i ruined our family etc.  when i got pregnant with our third child, i was in the hospital because i had a miscarriage. I kept calling him to let him know but i had no replies only text messages. Come to find out, he was fing some how on her back while i was bleeding his child out. Throughout this whole time, all he has done is disrespect me. I can honestly say i am scared of him. I flinch when he moves his hand and so forth.

My question is this, since i am such a bad person(according to him), why wont he divorce me? why does he get mad when i talk to other men? why does he go thru my phone and text messages? why does he question me about who and what i am doing?

i have been thru so much with this man pertaining to our children and us in general. I want to throw in the towel but then in my heart, i still have hope for us( yes! i know it sounds crazy). As far as our kids, he doesnt see them often nor does he make an effort to see them often. He is in and out of their lives and his only excuse is that I did this.  He doesnt seem to get the fact that nomatter what happens with our marriage, he still needs to be there on a regular. I told him i will put him on child support and he tells me that i will disappear w/o a trace and that he will never ever see the boys again.

what should i do when this man is leaving me with no options but to divorce him?? I feel so traped!!! nomatter what i do, it isnt good enough for him. Throughout my marriage, i felt i was in it alone. His true colors now have been discovered. When you need someone the most and they walk out on you, you really get to see them for what they are worth.any comments or suggestions from men/woman out there is greatly appreciated.[/color][/size]
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Hon it sounds like you tried really hard. Have you documented everything?  This is really important.  I am lost since I am not sure if you are wanting to end your marriage.  Only you know your limits.    I am worried about the physical and emotional abuse.  There are children present, and that changes everything.  Not just your life mom.  Please remember that.  You have a very difficult choice to make. Stay or walk away.  Only you will be able to do this.  No one else.  My heart aches for you.  Never easy to walk away from an abusive relationship since they never really start that way. Memories of who they once were, and hope that they could return to that old person once again.  If you ever choose to leave this type of marriage there is help out there.  He said you would disappear without a trace.  Given the physical you described I would not take the threats lightly.  Again important to document EVERYTHING.  Giving copies to friends, and family.  Just incase something really happened and these things would come up missing.  

To answer the questions, it is because he is a control freak. Plain and simple.  Love isn't suppose to hurt.  You deserve to love and be loved.

Lots of love to you during this time.

I think you only know what is best for and in which way you would be happiest in life.Many times in life we got to take courageous and drastic steps in life.Each one got his/her own life in his/her hands.No one should disgrace you and disrespect you.The ones who would suffer most is the children.

I would say just take time for yourself and while taking your decision it would be clearer to you.

I really dont know what to say....But if you are scared of him is it a good idea to go back? Sounds like he is the one who needs to seek help and i think you need to think strong and hard about your next move...Kids shouldnt be subject to any sort of abuse and if it were to happen to you and they saw i think it wouldnt be good......I think its a good idea to write everything down and tell people close to you the situation......It isnt your fault and i dont want you thinking that....Its easy for people to pass the blame when they know they were in the wrong...There is no excuse for abuse,and he should be very sad about his actions.......Emotional/Mental abuse is sometimes even worse,gets in your mind and takes alot to sort and heal......Only you know what is best for you and your kids......But please be careful.......*Huggles* and my love going to you......All the best.

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies