Yup even Crow has her days.  Lately I have been reaching out to someone who is thinking of ending it.  For months I have tried to help them to see the light. Hope in the darkness.  Another trigger has sent this person deeper into the abyss.  Don't know how much longer I can hold their hand, feel like they are slipping away.  Beautiful soul with a simular past growing up.  I understand in ways others may not.  They are going numb inside, very dangerous.  I don't know their exact name, or location.  I fear for their safety.  Just don't know how much my heart can bear.  I see another soul slipping into the dispair. It isn't my job to save, I know this.  But I try so hard to be their light.  So hard when their blinders and ears are going closed.  Lost they are stumbling around.  Carefully I have worded things, this person started to climb up, and boom they hit a trigger sending them into a downward spiral moving faster than before.  Tapping in I am picking up many things.  A bit too much to handle. I just cannot talk about it anywhere else. For those who understand.  When I read my emails I feel things.  A link.  

I know that I shouldn't be attempting such things yet.  It is my heart, who I am.  I don't really talk about my past, but for some you already know.   I joke with a light heart because I try so hard to be that light in the dark.  Offering hope when all seems lost.  Even I have my days.  Just don't want to see another one leave like that.  I see so much promise in this person, wish that they could look in the mirror and see what I see.  

This is a  beautiful spirit crying out, scared, and very alone.  If only they could feel that peace within.  Acceptance from outside can be taken as quickly as it is given. Strength, Love, etc it is all taken as it is given.  Helping them to see it comes from inside.  It feels like we will loose another soul.  My heart is breaking.  I cannot stop them.  They are slipping out of my reach, soon I will not be able to go where they are.  When the mind shuts down, total numbness, no one can help.  Speaking from experience.

All those hurting, I send you my hugs and possitive energy.  For those able to offer suggestions I would be grateful.  I love to read this part of the forum to see all the outpour of love and connections that are taking place.  This has helped me grow when it comes to reaching and trying to help people.  

Safe Journey

Hi, Crow,

I'm not sure I understood all of what you wrote; I'm just trying to read between the lines a bit and see what I come up with.

I feel for you.  I've been through similar things on several occasions--someone is slipping out of your grasp, and you want more than anything to control it and to stop what's happening, but it seems that the more you try to closer you get to losing him or her for good.  You said something about how you shouldn't be trying what you're trying yet, but of course you can't keep from trying because you care.

And I know that the instinct, naturally, when you feel that you're losing your grasp on someone and your ability to help her, is to try harder, and hold on tighter, and just do whatever you can do to keep the inevitable from happening.

But what I THINK I've learned, personally, is that that's when it's time to try to relinquish control a bit--to back off (not stop caring or showing the person that you care) and stop trying to control the outcome.  Because, hard as it is to realize, the outcome is not up to you.  And I've found that sometimes when I'm able to back up a little--to show the love but to say, "There's nothing I can do to stop this if it's going to happen," then a little miracle occurs.  I think it's both because, simply in human terms, people who have been shrinking from feeling that someone else is trying "too hard" to help (not that you're doing anything wrong in that!) will somehow start to "bloom" again once the "pressure" of feeling that they're not able to respond is taken off.  And I also think that it's something more than that--that acceptance, and relinquishing of control to the Creator (for lack of an all-encompassing term).  It just seems that when we're able to do that, things start to change.

You may not be able, in the end, to help this person the way you'd like to.  But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have hope that things will change for her (or him).  You wrote:

It feels like we will loose another soul.  My heart is breaking.  I cannot stop them.  They are slipping out of my reach, soon I will not be able to go where they are.  When the mind shuts down, total numbness, no one can help.  Speaking from experience.

You said, "speaking from experience."  That tells me that you were in the same place at one point, and maybe someone else thought that YOU were beyond help.  But you're here, showing compassion for another person, writing here for help with it, living your life.  So it CAN happen.  If it does, it might just be the result of something you never would have expected.

I hope so, for both your sakes.  It's wonderful that you care so much.  Take care of yourself, too.

Doe

Big hugs to you and the person you are trying to help.  When someone is thinking about ending their life I ask them about the family and suggest that the family would miss them very much if the person ended their life.  I would try and find something that the person likes to do and suggest they do that.  Is this person on any medication?  I would try and talk them in to going to see a Doctor or go to a Hospital to get help, you can only do what you can do at least you are trying to help.  I would try and find out the person's real name and location.

*Huggles* for the person wanting to end there life i dont think theres much you can do anymore except take them to a hospital where they can get professional help, because this sounds like its past the point of where friends and family can help them. And when you do take them for professional help make sure you let them know your gonna be there for them no matter what.

sweetie here is a huge hug for u and hope that person can find happiness...and hope they will be ok...here is another hug for them too...much love and huggies