It's good to know others understand and you all sound so wise lol
I will definately take on board what you have all said...
When I found out I told him that to me it wouldn't have made any difference and that the way I see relationships is that whatever happened before to us, yeah it shapes who we are but has nothing to do with us as a couple unless we make it so...I told him from now on I need to know everything no matter how he feels I will react and that he should allow me the opportunity to deal with it in my own way...he has promised to do this.
I told him, I had been 100% honest with him and told him things about me that I hate myself for because I wanted a new start with him, without having to feel I had to hide away part of who I was and how I've been in the past...I saw this relationship as starting with a clean slate and if he could accept all those things about me that I can't then I know I don't have to fear it this time...I've been running from relationships for so long it ain't funny...And then just occaisionally let my guard down and oooh another crock of shit to deal with!
But it's weird while I was at times terrified of letting my guard down with him I knew I had to if I wanted to be happy with him, and he rewarded me by understanding and not judging me...to be honest as a Cancerian Wood Rabbit that scared me even more!
I'm sure we'll be ok when we can talk and he hasn't been acting any different since I found out except at first when he got all defensive and decided to get in first with the hurtful stuff.
It's just yesterday I was having a hate herbie day I think and just got more and more down, but you guys have lifted me and it really is good knowing there are people out there who care and understand...I'll let you know what happens!
Take care y'all, and thanks again...
Peace,
Herbie x

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

Hi herbie,
A HUGE HHHUUUGGG, positive energy and love to you.
You both will be fine. Just remember we are all human.
Right or wrong. Your asking or not. He did tell you the truth.
I think it's a better trait that he told you befor you "found" out.
Not an excuse, just an observation.

You both have learned and grown from this. Put it behind you both and go on.

More hugs, energy, and love to you both.

Karlene

Hey girl
My advice to you is to hear him out and take it from there.  You have to give him a chance to explain himself and his lie.  Lots of Hugs and positive vibes your way from me.