Hi all,

I just ended a relationship with my now ex-girlfriend some months ago but I'm having more trouble than expected (at least than what I expected) to move on. Things ended up quite bad, even if more for me who ate a lot psychologial trash than for her who came out practically unharmed, she was the one who left for 2 reasons mainly but I didn't get the whole truth of the things until some time after the break-up, and the truth hurt me much more than the break-up itself.

The thing is I don't love her anymore but I don't hate her either and that's what it's keeping me for moving on. I never had a relationship before but I had been in love of other girls (always unrequited) and by hating them(just in my head, not doing any harm of any kind to them) the feelings just went away reasonably "soon".

The problem is that in all that cases, nothing had happened but in this relationship even with all the bad things she had done to me, the good things over the 2 1/2 years of relationship still have some weight and prevent me to fully hate her to move on.

The option of forgive her for some things she did and said to me after the break-up looks even worse since we don't speak to each other so it's the same if I forgive her or I don't because she won't know and if I tell her she wouldn't give a damn about it, probably even get mad at me.

So that's how the situation is now, any other option or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to all in advance!

The opposite of love is not hate - they are both highly emotional.  The opposite of love is indifference.  When we can disappate those high emotions and see the situation dispassionately we have achieved indifference.

You are replaying the situation of this girlfriend over and over like a broken record.  You have nothing new to add, merely the past over and over.  That is like playing your favorite music until you get so sick of it you don't want to hear it again.  I would have to say this is a hard choice in the situation.

Do an exercise in release!  You need to release all this energy to move on.  See the person (place, thing) in a purple bubble.  Then see yourself in another purple bubble attached by a cord.  Visualize a pair of golden scissors and cut the cord.  When you do this the bubble will float away - allow it to go.  You will be releasing the whole situation and can begin to dismiss the random thoughts that cause the pain.

I think you should worry about how you feel and not her feelings.
If it helps you to forgive, whether or not she knows, then do it.
I agree with spiritalk, you need to let the past be, and move on.

Lots of love to you.
Karlene

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies