Hello. I'm new to this forum, but joined as I'm desperate to find an answer. I don't know who else to ask.

A number of months ago a man that I was in a past relationship with found me after many years of looking for me across international borders. (We are presently living in different countries). He says he never married because he had hopes of finding me. This is now 15 years later. I remembered him from time time and wondered if he still lived on the island where I used to live with him, but never considered he was looking for me or anything else. I was quite shocked when he found me. I have also been in a relationship with someone else for the past few years who I'm not in love with, but it still makes me feel a bit guilty having this contact with my ex. I assumed my ex would have been in a relationship married with children by now and had moved on, so was very surprised to hear from him and find out this was not the case. Neither of us have any children.

This is where I really need some help. I don't know what has happened, but I am feeling a lot for this man and I do love him and some of this has surprised the hell out of me. When he first found me, I began to get discomfort in my solar plexus area..and I seemed to get it a lot when he was trying to contact me and I was also still trying to decide how I felt. The discomfort became much worse until I finally admitted that I loved him. Once I told him this, the discomfort let up. Then I would only get it once in a while. It's quite strange with us, that I 'can feel' when he is trying to contact me via internet, telephone or I'll think of something in a 'mental conversation' and he'll say the exact phrases or words and subject I had going through my head earlier that day.

We have had a few disagreements which meant that I didn't speak to him for anything from days to over a week. We still haven't seen eachother in person yet as we live across the world from eachother, but have been planning on a reunion where I'm really happy about seeing him again. He is wanting me to return to him permanently. When we have the arguments, I've tried to put it into my head that it's probably all for the best if I let him go, that I did it once before, and problably better if I do it again.

Here's the problem... whenever I try to let him go, I get intense discomfort in my solar plexus area. This last time around I tried to tell myself this discomfort will just be temporary and just let go, but it just got worse. I mean it is so bad that I can barely sleep. I have been in tears from the discomfort. The only relief that I get is when I make contact with him again. That's the only time the discomfort subsides. This makes me feel like if I truly wanted to let him go, that I feel like a prisoner of some sort.

I've been in relationships before and HAVE NEVER had this happen with anybody else in my entire life. Can anyone please explain to me what this is and why it is happening?  Please...

This is not in my head. I tried to tell myself this at first..but I'm really feeling this physically.

We think it mostly belong in Hug forum.....both for the hug and if anyone have good advices for you.....

I dont have really any advice to give you......But i will send you some *huggles*,positive energy and love......I hope you work it out and all the best to you,just be true to yourself......


Tamara :o)

Hugs to you, I don't think you are making it up. More likely that your body/subconcious is trying to tell you something. I guess you really won't know the answer to your questions until you see him face to face and spend some time with him but I wish you all the best.

Well I'd call this love... Perhaps just the real one...
Follow your heart! If you can't live without him, just go and live with him
Don't feel sorry for your current boyfriend...he won't be happy if you stay with him
whilst loving somebody else! All of you deserve to be happy and loved!
Good luck from me and a big hug!