Wisdom... BIG hug to you. I understand you are having a bad time and you cannot see any hope, BUT there is hope, there's light and I believe you are strong enough to get out of this!
Try to get professional help that will guide you and help you, also you have us here, you are not alone. So anytime talk with us, send pm or whatever you want, we are here and we will always give our best to help you.
So head up, you have a bright future ahead. Have positive thoughts, pick your strength and believe in you! I believe in you, we believe in you. ;)
Much light to you and you are also in my prayers.
Stay with angels
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The more we talk and open up the less alone we feel. You are not alone. And professionals are there to help us through these times. Focus on taking care of yourself, be kind to yourself. I always have to remind myself to not beat up on myself for feeling bad. This just perpetuates the cycle of feeling bad. You can surround yourself with positive influences. It has helped me too to write a gratitude list. Add new ones as you start feeling better. Don't quit before the miracle 
