I feel very out of sorts today. I am tossing between anger and just going to a corner and crying. I am trying very hard not to take the anger out on my 4 wonderful children, ages 14, 13, 2, and 2 months and hide the fact when I am crying. I feel like I am completely unbalanced and being torn apart by my feelings which I can not seem to understand where they are coming from.

rayvenstar

I hear yeah rayvenstar,
lots of nice thoughts and a hug to go with them..
Hang in there...
Make some time out for mom..
I know it's hard but you can do it...
Try things you always wanted to give it a go and never had time..
Make time now~!!

((( Hugs to you sister~!! )))

The best I can do is to offer you a big Grandpa hug and a lot of "comforting thoughts"....it is not a good state you are in now and you need to try to figure out what is causing it.

Since people all are different can this temper in anyway causes by early start on menopauses ?
I remember from my wifes time with this that her temper was like a jojo and the best thing was to hide away.

On the other hand it might also be your family situation....2 teenager are very demanding and 2 "babies" are equal hard to cope with in other ways.
I assume you are not a super woman and if your teenager are allowed to behave like they want and not given task to help you out....then you are on the brink of exhaustion.

When we have a lot of stress, and I think this mostly is, then we get a lot of head ache....our mood goes up and down and crying is a way to release tension.
If you feel your task is to big in the house (normally it is) then I must also give you the advice to start with family meetings in order to divide tasks among you.
It can be hard in the start, but all parts grow on it and your teens need to learn that everything aren't done by genies but by hard work.
They will soon start on their own feet and it might come as a shock if not learned.

Hopefully you will soon manage to get your good humor back and life again smile to you.

Another big Grandpa hug and a smile!

Thank you for the much needed hugs.  I can't remember the last time I had "mom" time.

Rhutobello,
Menopause is a possibility but even more liklely is exhaustion. I do everything around here including babysit two more children ages 5 and 9. I am still breastfeeding my youngest and he is still getting up about every 3 hours to feed. I have tried to get my 2 teenagers to help and get a lot of I will do it later or they just plain won't do it and it ends up in a fight to get them to help. So for the sake of peace, I just do it myself. My significant other helps when he can, but he works 3rd shift so he sleeps all day and works all night.  Although your right I am not the super woman everyone thinks I am and I think my moods are reflecting that I am just overwhelmed. I am going to have a family meeting on Dennis' next day off and see what we can work out with everyone to get me some help around here. And maybe find a way to have some "mom" time while we are talking.
Thank you for the great advice and the hugs. It is well appreciated.

and may you be able to see how special the children you have in your life. may they be the mirror to your soul and guide you back to your whole self. these four children are your teachers on this path as a parent. may you cherish this situation and see how you can improve the situation. i think it is possible for you to share your feelings with them and grant them the ability to restore you as well. they are your guides and helpers for your path.