I just really need to get this out.....


My partner and I have chosen to have a break,split for a while,i dont know how long for but yeah.....It was my choice and i feel very guilty now for wanting some time for myself,to sort my head out.He is a great man,he has a heart of gold,but why then arent i happy??? I mean whats my problem,if he is such a great person why leave him to maybe never have a connection like that again.Saying that the past 8 months havent been easy,we have had alot of problems,we argue alot,angry alot and just not happy.....We do love eachother but things seem to have changed....

Some people i have told have put all the blame on me and have made me feel pretty bad.They have been saying because we have a child together that i should stay with him for our son.They say if i want to be a good mother i should put my son first,it doesnt matter about my happiness as i have 3 lives in the palm of my hand not just my own.....Is that true,should i forget about what i want for my son? Im very confused right now,i dont even know what happiness is or what i want....

He was my first real love,i havent known anything else,am i just in a comfort zone,where do i go from here?
Do i stay with him and try to be happy or walk away so to speak and find out what i want.....My son does deserve to have his mummy and daddy together and that is what has made me feel awful.I didnt sleep all night because my head has been spining,am i doing the right thing,what if i leave him then regret it,am i a bad mother for not trying to sort things out and blah blah blah.

It really is doing my head in.....I just dont know what i want and i wish people wouldnt sift the blame on me and say im selfish.I thought a relationship was two people working at it,its never just ones fault,so if things arent peachy then it cant be just my problem,can it????

I feel like the person who recks anothers life,all i know is im not happy and i dont know why......  I mean do other people think i like feeling like this and hurting someone???? Im not that much of a heartless person,geeezzzzzzzz......

Well thanks for that....I just needed to vent and get that out.....

Can anyone spare a hug for me??  


Thanks,Tamara  

A big big Grandpa hug to you.....and I think also a confirmation that you are doing the right thing.

I find it very hard to understand that a marriage that produce "bad feelings" and "quarrels" shall keep going in order to help the child to have a "good family life".
It is the opposite that will happen...Even a very young child will pick up such disharmony and will think they are what cause it.

A broken marriage is never good for any part....but the main goal is to be able to brake out as "friends".
This way you both will be able to produce a good relationship that benefit the child and it will not become a mean to hurt the other part in the name of "love".

You are both young....and you must have started this relationship in your "teens".
This is a period of time where we grow mentally....and the fact that you become a mother...will make your view on life and what is important more mature.
This might lead to the thought that you he has changed, but in reality you might have changed most and he has not managed to follow up.

It's hard for many a man when the couple get a baby. He is not longer the focus for the relationship....he might feel that he is in the background and so on.
This will then lead to quarrels that again lead unhappiness.

As I have said to many before.....before you take the decision....think it true.....be sure that this is what you want...if you find it broken whiteout  repair...well then better leave in order to establish harmony for your baby.

Good luck to the 3 of you and another big Grandpa Hug!

Morning on my end..lol

Maybe this is the time you needed to sort things out..
Sounds like your doing just that...

Give him a call see how he's doing~?
Have dinner and still have your times apart for a week or 2~?
It takes 2 to work things out...

Just a though is all..  

{{{ Hugs to you both & your son }}

hello,
a warm hug for u)
take time to reevaluate with a clear mind and i am sure u will reach the right decision

ahhh Tamara! BIG ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) from me to you!
I agree that time out may be needed to see with fresh eyes...
Remember...you're not alone! Listen really listen....the answer will come


I will be thinking of you and sending you lots of love and light!!!