My partner, Steve is an alcoholic, there's no two ways about it.  He doesn't ever hit me, he doesn't spend all our money on booze and he doesn't even drink every day.  The problem is that when he does have a drink, he doesn't know when to stop and has been known to drink almost continuously from Friday night to Sunday evening.  After several arguments about his drinking and me threatening to leave, he said he would try to cut down and for a while he did.  I'm not stupid, I know that for him to actually stop he needs professional help, but the problem is that he doesn't want to stop because he enjoys the feeling it produces.  I also know that to stop drinking he has got to want to.  The past few months have been pretty good but this morning I just broke down and cried because it seems his drinking has reached a new level.    Last night we had gone out with friends and he had a few drinks.  He was merry but not drunk and I was pleased that he didn't make his usual detour to the off-license on the way home.  Back home I was busy getting us something to eat and talking to my son.  Steve kept disappearing into the bedroom.  I did think it a bit strange, but eventually he came into the living room with a glass of coke.  When we went to bed, he took a glass of coke with him.  I just knew that something wasn't right and when he went to the loo I took a sip.  It was Vodka and coke.  I knew we hadn't bought any Vodka but decided not to say anything as it was late and he had to be up for work this morning, so I didn't want an argument.  This morning I checked his drawers in the bedroom and found an empty half bottle of Vodka, which he'd obviously bought and hid from me.  I just don't know how to handle this any more.  If he's hiding drink then he seriously needs help but I don't know how to get him to go for help.  Sorry this has been so long, but just needed to get it all off my chest.

Deucalion

He's what they call a functional alcoholic, but an alcoholic nevertheless... it appears he is also becoming a closeted one too.

I'm sorry you are going through this Deucalion. ::hugs:: The only comfort I can offer you is that is if something like this is for you where you would go.. to advise you to seek out your local chapter Al-Anon. I've enclosed a link for you for locations in the UK http://www.al-anon.org/meetings/unitedkingdom.html

They help spouses, children, friends/ lovers, family of those who have a drinking problem... I'm not sure if you are familiar with it but other people are there with the same issues you are facing, some who have moved passed it and are just sharing their experience, others who are still in it.. You can talk about it, get feedback if you want, but mainly hear how others dealt with it or are dealing with it; what worked for them which may give you some ideas of your own to pick and choose from.

You'll get through this ::big hugs::

A big big huggg to you Deucalion......it's hard to live with a spouse that have such an illness, because that is what it is....and he need to face it and start treatment for it.

Angelique has given good advices so there aren't much more for me to add then another Big Hug!

A hug to you.  what you are going through can be an incredibly destructive addiction.  Please attend one of the groups for help and support for yourself.  Your partner will not want help until he is ready but if you are supported and strong, you will know how to help when he asks.

Loads of hugs

Suzi

There is nothing more that I can add to the brilliant advice already given ... but I will add some of my HUGE hugs for you, your son and your partner - hope they will help a little.

Stay positive (easier said than done, I know) and stay strong ... because you are.

Brightest Blessings

Sarah