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Posts: 11 · Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:55 am

Hi there - Ive read your post and am wondering where you can get a bit of real help, here in Australia they have a Life Line no. where you can ring and discuss your problems plus there is AA to call, and Alanon, which is the line for families of alcoholics.

First of all though you need to do 'tough love' Tell him straight out that he's killing himself, yes its his choice BUT hey its affecting your life, and you DONT choose that. Tell him he won't get better or stop the downward spiral UNLESS he chooses to make a phone call and get some real help. Tell him you're both lucky to have each other, that YES you are supportive to him but you WONT support his deceat and need him to address his condition, which is after all not only an addiction, but a sickness.

As with all addictions, unless the underlying REAL problem is resolved, then its hard to get them properly clean, even if they avoid the substance involved. Usually its a real LACK OF SELF ESTEEM AND OR CONFIDENCE and often stems right way back to early childhood (where as children we have no control over the environment around us and take on board our parents fears and conditionings).

Empower yourself with strong focus and visions of seeing him well and healthy (make sure his nutrtion, good foods and vitamins, are up to scratch as often alchol craving is a sugar metabolism problem too, so lotsa proteins - meat, fish and calcium - dairy foods are a must) high doses of B1 thiamin, like 100mg x 3 times a day has shown to help with the depression that people on alcohol have. Alcohol does actually depress the nerves, even though people get a little 'high' at first, the result is a big low - then the merrygoround of wanting more!

I do hope this has helped you somewhat, I'm a professional Naturopath here in Australia and know what Im talking about. + YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND LOVE IN YOUR LIFE and he needs a big wake up call and a kick up the backside - so feel the fear and confront him anyway. Good luck and love and light to you, Versaille

Posts: 58 · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:54 am

i agree with versaille, a lot of time alcohol is used as a crutch for something bigger, mostly emotional or psychological. At times, even when the problem or issue is overcome, these individuals who by now have alreasy formed an addiction - yes darling, its what it is, can't seem to let go of the habit. Maybe getting to the root of it all is a good idea, AA, counselling and of course your emotional support. Good luck. Here's a hug to you.

Posts: 360 · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:33 pm

Hi Deucalion, you have a problem, how to solve it sometimes very sticky. i was at apoint where i used to drink a bottle of whisky, half bottle rum, cream liqeuer and maybe start on my 2nd bottle of whisky everyday of my life.

Although i never took drink to bed, before 7 in the mornings i may have had about 1/4 bottle whisky(i get up at around 3-4).

To be frank with you, i even boasted about the fact that i made my best bussiness dealings when totally pissed.

When a person gets to that point, it's actually very difficult to get drunk because your system is so used to the alchohol, it virtually ignores it.

the biggest problem is that the person (drinker) doesn't realise the damage his drinking is doing, it's actually as if it becomes second nature to get into an argument over the pettiest *****. the biggest effort you have is to try and get him to realise it's harming him as with everybody around him.

Fortunately, i reached that point about 1 and a half years ago, after a lot of damage to my soulmate, myself and relationships in general.

You also seems to be ill all the time, standing with your one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

The actual damage the alchohol had on me: the braindamage led to uncontrollable epileptic fits, every single day up to twelfe times in a row.

Now i'm suffering, need to take 600 mg medication which is to be increased to 800 mg from next month, i suffer excrutiating headaches to such a point where it is absolutely impossible to do anything.

So, in this regard, i hope for his own sake that he get his mind in line, that's what is needed, the decision needs to be his and nobody must force him to stop drinking, it's all in the mind.

I have empathy for you, because i know now the harm i caused,
hope your partner realise what he is doing to himself.

Blessed be

Posts: 602 · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:54 pm

Payewacker wrote:

Hi Deucalion, you have a problem, how to solve it sometimes very sticky. i was at apoint where i used to drink a bottle of whisky, half bottle rum, cream liqeuer and maybe start on my 2nd bottle of whisky everyday of my life.

The actual damage the alchohol had on me: the braindamage led to uncontrollable epileptic fits, every single day up to twelfe times in a row.

Hi Payewacker,

I am happy you stopped, and I am sorry the toll it took out on your body. The most important thing is that you are alive.

As a side note: Be sure that your doctors test and monitor your organ functions regularly on the medication they give you for the seizures, they can cause liver, kidney and heart damage. I'm not saying this to scare you, I am just not sure what procedures are followed by doctors in South Africa and I figured I would give you a heads up for your own well-being.

Nevertheless, I'm happy you made it through the storm to find the sun shining at the other end. It's a powerful story you shared, thank you for sharing it.

Posts: 2082 · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:44 pm

Thanks everyone for sharing and giving alot of support and advice.. We need to concetrate on giving the hugs that are needed right now.

So a very large squishy hug to you.

Suzi XXX