From one Pisces mom to another, my heart goes out to you.  Both of my oldest children 9, and 3 were extremely tempermental.  I found that by going into the bathroom and turning on the shower, and just listening to the sound of running water it helped me a lot!  Also thinking of a calm beach, watching the waves come and go, and remembering the feeling how it felt to just drift along the calming waves helped bring some peace so I could sleep.  This was rare, since they loved to cry every hour on the hour.  So I would feed, burp, change diaper, and try to soothe.  If that didn't do the trick I had to retreat into the bathroom and listen to the shower running all the while crying myself silly.  I'd return when I was calmed down enough to pick her up, and try to soothe her once again.  Repeating the process if necessary.  I hope this trick can help you.  

Something I cut out of a baby magazine, and taped onto the swing that I would put my crying daughter into, went something like this.  Children that are more tempermental, and cry alot tend to become leaders.  They are showing you their determination by these cry fests.  It does get better.  Just keep reminding yourself that this will not last forever.

You didn't mention anthing about family, so I wonder if you were in the same boat as I was.  I don't know if there is any place where you could go that would help you have a break from the kids.  Any support groups that offer free daycare, even if it is just an hour that might help you out.   And when your daughter has less crying fits, you might want to explore working part time.   It can make you feel empowered again.  That's what it sounds like you are dealing with.  With the added burdens thrown upon you, it can wear you down so fast.  

I too am glad that you are going to the Dr to see if there is anything they could do to help.  My b-friend of 14 years did just that.  Her hubby left when she was 6mths preg.  And I remember her calling me up and being so scared that she was at an all time low.  Her oldest son has ADHD too.  She felt like leaving her babies.  Totally out of character since she is one of the most loving people I know.  The first medication didn't help, made things worse.  But then her doctor tried another, and she came out of the tunnel that you describe.  So if you find yourself not being helped, the point is keep trying.  

As to the men you describe take all the affection you can get!!  This is put into your life to remind you that you are still desirable.  Something we can loose when the men in our lifes are big drunks.  Sometimes they can say things that hurt us so deeply.  So flirt away, but becareful to gaurd your heart.  If you ever need to vent, or talk, please feel free to contact me via email.  ((Big Hug))

Hi Steph, My advice for what it is worth is to take a deep breath and see your doctor and explain everything. don't go chatting to guys you don't know over the internet there is enough con merchants out there as it is, and you have to think of your own safety as well as your kids.
The only way to resolve anything is to sit down with hubby and be absolutely honest and frank with him as well as yourself, possibly get a friend of both of you who you both trust, to help mediate. Honesty and Truth with each other is the corner stone here.
What has been expected, done, not done or said should be addressed in a calm ADULT manner shouting and arguing never resolves anything. Remember you and your husband have a huge responsiblity towards your kids it doesn't fall on just one pair of shoulders and they are the ones that will bare the brunt of all the hostility now and in their future and is why TRUTH must out no matter how hurtful it my seem at the time, you can work around truth and honesty, anger and hostility resolves nothing but the same old merrygoround, more anger more frustration.

I really hope this will be of some benifit for you all I wish you well and every success and that your life becomes a changed and very much happier one.               Sincerely   Peter

Hi Steph,

Definitely there will be light. Where there is dark, there is light too and it would be better to think on the light than the dark. Big hug to you too!

You got lots of great advice.  I hope some of it has helped.

A hug to you.

Suzi