june 2006 i gave birth to identical twin boys and tried to look after them with help off my sister and mum (cause no partner) and i suffer with epilepsy witch took a turn for the worst with me having several fits. my sister took care of the boys while social services sorted out care but i could only see the boys monday to friday 10 till 3 till i got a house as i needed 24hr care and when i finally got the house in feb this year igot told i could not have anymore time with my boys so in the mean time i have got so use to being on my own after 3 and weekends to myself, social services have now said i can have the 24hr care and im scared as not just having my boys back but always having someone watching over me. my life really isnt going to be my own and i will probably go mad.

I'm sending you the biggest hug ever, im sooo sorry to hear about what you are going through but it's not all that bad you won't go mad or anything you just have to get used to balancing you're time between you and them, it will be a big ajustment but it'll be worth it you'll see. I'm a twin and my mother says that the thing that made it easier was seeing us grow together and when we got older like toddlers we had each other so we did'nt need her as much, just hold on it will get better later. For now try to find some kind of helper that will make it much easier and make sure you take care of you so you can take care of them. Enjoy the good times playing with them, they'll have double the love and joy to give and at least you won't have to worry about having a playmate for just one. Think about the good things they will bring, grow and learn from them and try to use this oppertuinity to be a better person like developing patience you will definately need it. It can be a beautiful journey my mother says it's up to you what you make of it just make sure you make it best for you. Good luck, peace and many blessings...Kiss them for me.

A very BIG hug to you Kirstie.

Just take one day at a time and see how it all goes until you find you find that balance.  

Peace, love and light to you.
xox

Hello Kirstie  

First off... here's a Big (((Hug))) for you!  Like Joyel, I am a twin as well. Your little boys are just a little over a year old... and yes this is going to be demanding all your attention, for at least another year. Like Joyel says, it gets easier once they are past the toddler stage and you will see they rely more on each other than you...  
When are the boys coming back into your care?

Don't worry about your Maternal instincts hun,  once your boys are back in your care you'll feel it's speedy return... Like Miss Em says... just handle "one day at a time."  You have an awesome support network and no one expects you to be perfect. I  feel that your caregivers are NOT watching you to judge you, but to be helpful.

Some days it will harder than others... and if you feel it is hard to cope ... please say something to those closest to you.  Being a single mom isn't easy.... under any conditions. Your sister and Mom sound awesome and I am sure they will help you.  You could also preplan  scheduled  'time out' so you have a whole day a week or a weekend each month for yourself to look forward to.

Blessings to you....  Mama... You will do the best you can.  I am sure everyone will be proud of you... including you! More (((hugs)))

P E A C E
Evie

I am sending you one of my HUGE hugs - hope it helps a little ... I am also sending hugs to your boys, sister and mother - you are truly blessed with the support you already have and, when the 24-hour care package is in place, it will give you security, not a prison.  Take it one day (or even one hour) at a time while you adjust to the new arrangements.

You will have a brilliant life ahead with your two boys ... enjoy it.

Brightest Blessings

Sarah