education/career/finances all over?

I have lost all hopes of normalcy getting restored
my edu is over

i wanted to go abroad----this year eveything ended in a failure

so please predict when will I DIE-----i want to-----i cant take this full of failure life

24 may 1990
2:43 pm
ludhiana

Oh, I see why are you so depresive! Tranzit Sa is right on your ASC. All Saturn transits are major,  all people go through that experience, only the time schedule is personal.Saturn crossing the Ascendant can at times seem depressing, but need not.  How you handle it determines your reaction to it.  Your options are limited at this time, and you may feel that you have to do without in some ways, but on the other hand you are being called on to take life much more seriously at this time, and can mature quite a bit as a result.  Saturn on the Ascendant does, if you let it, enhance your sense of humor, believe it or not. It allows you to see the humor in things that you cannot change, both  in your life, and the world around you.   Overall, it is a time when your self-image strengthens, and you become a more mature, responsible person. At your age I had also Sa conjunct my ASC-I got my first job!! I started to work and finally had my own money!
And looking at your natal chart I would like to change mine for yours )! You have 3 planets eighter in its own sign or exaltation! (I have only one...)

Bajy, I feel so sorry for you.
It's easy to say we've all been low - doesn't help much. The main thing I want to say is keep going, no matter how hard it seems it will improve.
2 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer, I really thought I would die and loose it all. The surgeon did a good job but I couldn't teach my martial arts - not much you could say but I've done since I was 17 - 40 odd years it hurt.
Then it turned into alien - this huge hernia growing out of my stomach - another major operation not a little keyhole one.
While I was in the hospital my only son (35) was taken to another hospital - 3 weeks later he died.
It's a year and a bit now, yes I'm back teaching and yes I miss him every single day but life is good and there is a future - still not sure what but life does get better.