Hi youdah and projenator,
Happy new year to you both!
just thought i would pop in.. haven't been here for along time... i'm in counselling now and trying to sort my stuff out.. my gf and i are not together anymore.. it was too complicated and we realised we were too different to be together... my ex... he's been texting me and we went out for dinner today because he wanted to chat.. apologised for what he did.. looks like he's turning his life around which is nice to see.. but it highlighted so many things for me.. the me pretending to be ok. There was a lot of stuff i guess i just blocked out.. went onto the next relationship pretending the last one didn't happen.. but it all caught up with me in the end. So this year is going to be a year of reflection, no more running, no more relationships until i sort myself out properly. This year is going to be me loving me... learning to! life is too short and i don't want to keep missing out on the good things life has to offer.

Just wanted to let you guys know what is going on.. and thank you for all the helpyou both have given me on here.. thank you :D