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Pravin Kumar
Age: 61 Zodiac: 
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Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:52 am |
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In youth we learn; in age we understand.
~Marie Ebner von Eschenbaach
The stereo was blaring when Deb entered my room. She stood beside my bed, hands on hips, piercing blue eyes focused on me intensely.
"What?" I asked nervously. Deb didn't usually come into my room, or even have that much to do with me.
"I need to talk to you." Deb was my sister, actually my half-sister, and older by ten years. She took it upon herself to look after us younger kids, and I suppose that is why she was the one to come to my room instead of my mother.
"What?" I asked again, fidgeting with my pillow.
"I've been noticing that you've been changing," she said.
"Changing?" I asked innocently, but I knew what she meant. I had reached puberty and wasn't too happy about it, even going so far as to wear oversized t-shirts to hide it. I was a tomboy and proud of it. I didn't want boobs like some girly-girl.
"Robin Lynn, it's time you got a bra."
I rolled my eyes in embarrassment.
"I was thinking we could stop by Dad's office today and get some money. Then we could go to the mall and see what we can find for you."
"I don't want to ask Dad for money," I whined. "He'll want to know what it's for."
"No, he won't. He never has before," she said, looking toward the ceiling in thought. "Besides, if he does, you can just tell him you need it for something. He won't ask. Now get going."
"Is this really necessary?" I asked, wishing the whole situation would just disappear.
"You are not a boy, and it's time you started looking and acting like a girl," she advised. "I'm not going to argue about it. Get ready!"
As Deb shut the door, I flung myself backward, hitting the mattress hard and bouncing slightly. I closed my eyes and continued listening to my music until a sappy love song came on. That's when I grabbed my tennis shoes and headed downstairs.
Our fifteen-minute drive to town was unusually quiet. I was too embarrassed to talk about it, but nothing else was on my mind. A bra. What would be next? A dress or pantyhose!? Womanhood was not something I was looking forward to.
"I'll wait in the car," Deb said. "Hurry."
"Yeah, yeah," I answered unenthusiastically.
Dad's office was on the second floor of a huge building downtown. The building was old, and the dark stairwell gave me the creeps. I always took the stairs three at a time to hurry to the landing at the top, but each step still left an eerie echo.
Once at the top, I went into Dad's office. Dad's secretary was sitting at her desk. "Your dad is with a client. Let me buzz him," she offered.
She announced, "Robin's here."
"Send her in" was Dad's happy reply. He always told us we were more important than anyone else and could always come right in, but I was glad she checked first.
Dad sat behind his huge desk, which took up at least half of the room in the office. One side held pictures of us kids. Yellow legal pads were scattered in front of him, and a sign that read "J. R. Sokol, Attorney at Law" clasped the edge of the desk for all incoming clients to read. The faint smell of leather from all the law books filled the room.
His client sat in front of the desk in one of the four green leather office chairs. He was a round man in a blue three-piece suit. His thick black hair was slicked to his head as if he had used glue.
"Hello there, Robs. Where's your mother?" Dad asked casually.
"At home. Deb brought me to town."
"What do you need?" he asked, removing his black-framed glasses and rubbing the corner of his eyes. He had a permanently tired look about him; trying to raise seven kids would do that to a person.
"I need some money."
"For what?"
I thought, "Oh no, now what?" I looked at Dad's client, who seemed to be interested in what I needed the money for, too. I looked back at Dad. "I just need some money, that's all." I felt my face start to heat up like a hot coal.
Dad's voice rose slightly, "What do you need the money for?"
I couldn't take it anymore, "Never mind," I yelled and turned to leave. I could feel the tears swell up in my eyes but tried to fight them and not be a sissy.
"Young lady, you come back here this minute and tell me what you need the money for!" From the firm tone of his voice, I knew I had to tell him.
I walked back to the corner of the desk, tears now running down my face, and yelled at the top of my lungs, arms waving, "I need a bra!"
Dad's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh, I see." The corners of his mouth curled upright, and he started to laugh. So did his client. They both roared with laughter, which only made me madder.
"It's not funny!" I yelled.
"Young lady, you settle down." Dad said firmly, trying to tone down the situation. He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and handed me a couple of twenty dollar bills. "Here Robs," he said, still chuckling.
I grabbed the twenties firmly, spun on my heels, ran out of the office, and bounced down the stairs.
I stopped on the landing at the bottom, cried a little more, and then wiped the tears away. I was not going to let Deb know what happened.
At the supper table that night, I waited for Dad to say something about the day's events. I knew once the rest of the family knew, they would tease me relentlessly. But he never said a word about it.
Later that evening, there was a knock on my door.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"It's me. Can I come in a minute?" Dad asked quietly.
"Yeah."
He opened the door and stood inside, glancing around my room like he had never seen it before. I sat on the edge of my bed thinking I was in trouble for acting up today.
"Honey, I have an idea."
"Yeah," I answered, trying not to look him in the face.
"From now on, if you need money for something personal, why don't you just say it's for 'girls' stuff.' Then I'll know."
I felt my face get flushed again. "Okay."
"It's a deal then," he answered, lowering his eyes, as embarrassed as I was.
"A deal. Good night," I answered trying to end the conversation.
"Night. Don't let the bed bugs bite."
We both smiled as he shut the door.
I took the two new bras out of my drawer and lay them on my bed. One had two bears, dressed in jeans, kissing. The other had a moon and a sun imprinted on the front.
I put one on and pulled a baggy t-shirt on over it, looked in the mirror and smiled. Deb thought getting me a bra would turn me into a girl, but with a baggy shirt on no one would ever even be able to tell. This won't be so bad, I thought to myself.
Not so bad, that is, until my brothers found out I had been bra shopping.
The teasing lasted for weeks.
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