I am so very sorry for your loss.  *hug*


I don't know if you can truly love someone without becoming attached to them?  Then it's just like or even tolerate....love means you're giving your all, everything you have.  I don't see how you can do that without giving a part of yourself in the process

Swetha, I think that your mum wanted to say that the best thing that you can do is to love someone and let them abandon you if they don't want to be with you. It's just the matter of letting somebody be happy without you, letting them go. If you really love someone and it's not a selfish love then the most important thing for you is to feel that he or she is happy no matter if they're with you or with somebody else. However, it's very difficult to stop thinking about your own need of being close to the person that you love, so you're right that consciousness is very important factor here. You have to use your mind more than your emotions in this case.This kind of love and way of thinking are probably the most mature and wisest one. And such attitude has also one important advantage: the less you attach to somebody the less you suffer if they leave.
Personally, I don't think I'm able not to attach to people who I love or like very much. I don't think that majority of the people can. It's just too hard because for majority of us to love someone is to posses them. That's why people often say "I belong to you" or "You will always be mine", etc.

yes agata... I think that is what she meant... because attachment leads to unhappiness when expectations are not fulfilled... which again leads to resentment and hurt...
Love without any inhibitions

But is it actually possible to practice it...?

"if you love something let it go,
if it returns to you it's yours"

I guess the question could be is it possible to connect with someone without becoming attached.

"And such attitude has also one important advantage: the less you attach to somebody the less you suffer if they leave."

I think if you practice this your love is doomed to fail.  You can't love half-heartedly, keep your distance and not open your heart.  Not if you are in a relationship.  If you love and worry about getting hurt so don't commit fully, you will never experience that true union.  Love and pain go hand in hand.  If you don't experience both I don't think you are truly living.  Everyone dreams of perfect happiness, but this is a destination and life is a journey.

If you can't love because that person is already in love / relationship / marriage, then the choice is yours whether you pursue that person and potentially ruin their existing relationship / marriage (something I personally don't condone except in incredibly extreme situations) or to acknowledge that love but let it go as not meant for this lifetime.