Thank you Molissa.  Great, understood every idea and sentence!!!  I appreciate your sharing.  

One of the huge steps for me was when I started assuming responsibility for everything that happens in my life and what I do, say, think.  I know it sounds extreme.  It's something I read.  As a Spiritual being Ultimately we are all one.  Everything I see and has happened in my life I have attracted to myself. As soon as I start accepting responsibility and stopped blaming I started empowering myself.  By blaming and making other people my problem, I was giving my power away to them.  
I'm realistic about what is going on around me, to me, yet when I assume responsibility for all I see and do I find my self at peace.
I forgive myself, I forgive them, I surrender it all to Divinity and I love myself and them.

I'm sorry,
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you.

I have been doing this with everything in my life.  It has become very empowering to me.  I am no longer a victim.  Being a victim is not self empowering at all.

Ooh, Molissa--yes.  Every time I see that you've posted something I think, "Oh, NO!  Here comes that hard-hearted, cold, calculating woman.  Run for cover!"  NOT!!!  It's wonderful that you learned (although I gather there may have been a hard lesson or two there) to protect yourself so early, and yet you are a fun, sweet, smart, warm person (regardless of what the people who don't know you think!).  And I agree that finding something to laugh at every day is INCREDIBLY important.  Once you lose your sense of humor, you're lost.

Tourbi, learning to accept responsibility for my own role in things (even if they APPEAR to have been brought on solely by others) has been another really important thing I've learned this year.  During the incident I wrote about in my "Anger" thread, I tried to think about what I may have done to contribute to what happened and--even more so--how I was responsible for how I responded (not great, but not TOO bad, overall).  Of course, summer is coming, which means that I'll have to see a lot more of the person who hurt me (she lives down the block, and is the mother of one of my son's best friends)--THAT will be the real test.  Not exactly looking forward to it...

Yet another great thread!

Doe

Tourbi, I agree with accepting responsibility. Indeed.  I refuse to be a victim.  you said "By blaming and making other people my problem, I was giving my power away to them."   but I will say that sometimes bad things happen to good people.  and sometimes bad people do bad things to good people.  It is the acceptance, the "yep it happened.  Time to forgive and get on" that is the saving grace, as I see it...
Doe, thank you. and yes.  Lotsa hard knocks.  but then I look good with those callouses on my knees, scrapes on my elbows, egg on my chin.  You get knocked down, you get back up, and smell some roses or something.
I must admit I do lose patience with people who insist on being a victim to one thing or another.  I will try in every way possible to assist, comfort, console, but at some point those people too have to accept some responsibility.
Thanks for this thread.  Very interesting, thought provoking, challenging, warm and caring.

oh yes indeed!
Along that line, I dislike the word "should".  Somehow it imposes an outside definition of action or thought.  I choose "would" or "could" which empowers because it is mine.  i.e. I should lose weight/exercise more etc  vs.  I could /would exercise more but I choose to do something else instead.  It is my way of accepting responsibility and seems to alleviate any imposed guilt for NOT doing the "should" version.  Ok.  I get wrapped up in semantics, but I believe words, thoughts hold power.   I try to be careful.
thanks for that quote.  It reinforces my desire to be careful with my thinking and words.