Ah yes, setting boundaries is very self empowering.  Being able to have healthy boundaries in all our relationships, makes the relationships more powerful and empowers both parts of the relationship.  They must be present in every relationship, with partners, parents, children, etc.
Boundaries tell people we don't wish to be abused.  That is very empowering for people who have been abused.  To have permission to say no, back off, treat me well.  That is what boundaries are.
It's good to sit down and think about what your boundaries are and even discuss them with the people who are most important in your life.  My parents said they would not respect mine. One believes I am property and have no right to set boundaries with a parent, the other stops talking to me and is angry.  
I have set the boundaries and have had to be even more diligent with them since they don't want to respect them.

Oh, Tourbi, I think we've established that you and I (and quite a few others) have a lot in common in that area!    It really is a struggle that doesn't necessarily improve as we get older (or it can even get worse). With parents, it's especially difficult, because they can make you feel that you're not "allowed" to have boundaries, or to make your own rules for yourself, or to be able to feel worthy if you don't have their approval.  And what they may think of as advice given from people who simply know what's better for you JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR PARENTS (no matter how YOU see it!), you may easily--and with very good reason--experience as abuse.  I'm sorry it's so hard for you--I'm guessing it's been especially rough over the past few days (?).

Guilt is a powerful manipulation tool, and some parents seem to wield it especially well.  Don't allow them to use it to "defend" themselves against your boundary-setting.  You know who you are, and what you need, and you have every right to protect yourself (and all of us here know that you would be as loving and fair as possible in your relationships and interactions!).

Of course, I read over what I wrote, and think, "Yeah, Doe--as if YOU'VE figured out how to set boundaries and not get hurt, time after time!"  Easier said than done, of course...My upbringing predisposed me to being the aforementioned "raw nerve" when it comes to perceived judgement or abuse.

Just try to remember to always see yourself through your own (and our!  )  eyes, Tourbi.  You're an amazing person.

Doe

Actually, nothing with them has been much different, as far as boundaries are concerned for a very long time.  I see little of my father, I see mother every week or more. I keep my boundaries set.  If they don't like it, that is their problem.  
I set them gently.  
I guess that is part of what we learn, boundaries are always being set and changed and reset.  A friend becomes more trust worthy and we can let them in a bit farther into our lives.  A friend betrays our trust and it's time to set different boundaries.  A mother is in a control place and not nurturing and the boundaries move out for a while, giving ourselves more room to take care of ourselves.

Thank you for all your love and care Doe.  I totally appreciate it.  

Doe,
Again i agree with what you said.

Tourbi,
WOW!!!!
I want you to know YOU helped me see how to empower myself today!
What you said not only hit home, but it drove in my garage and parked!
Thank you.
Purple Spirit.

Trying to define how I empower myself is strangely difficult.  I'm an oddity in that my spiritual journey stretches back to earliest memory.  I questioned everything from the time I could talk (to my mother's chagrin).  Even more odd is that I learned early on that only I had control of my feelings.  I could/can accept someone else's judgement of me, or not.  I've been comfortable with most of me (insert that wry smile emoticon guy here), and have often wished I DID care more about what people think of me.  Personally, I really don't for the most part.  Professionally, of course.  But I have boundaries in my professional life as well.  Judge my work, my work ethic, NOT me personally.  I don't take my personal life to work, and I ask that others leave my personal life out...
Of course, there are people who won't honor boundaries I set.  Of course, I get hurt when I'm too trusting, or too open, or care too much what someone else thinks of me (i.e. my MOTHER.)  but I understand that people really are human  with imperfections.  and I happen to be human with a whole big lot of imperfections.  
I try not to expend my hard earned peace-with-self on guilt.  I've found guilt to be an excuse not to correct whatever the problem is/was causing guilt.  So if I want to eat a whole bag of tortilla chips in one sitting then I'm prepared for the consequences and don't allow myself to feel guilty.
Anger for me is a slow thing.  I rarely respond in anger.  I have to analyze it (sheesh), and figure out if I have a right to feel anger or if I just don't like something.  Someone trying to push my buttons intentionally will anger me.  and I will respond.  
Same with criticism.  I have to think it through to see if it is justified or just a difference of opinion.
Yeah.  I set boundaries.  and I've been accused of being stuck up, cold, indifferent, etc etc etc. (even by my darling Mother).  But those things are said by people who don't know me or who do know me and don't like me.  
I'm reserved, fairly cautious, and I absolutely love life.  I have to find something to laugh about every single day.
Liking myself, working on my imperfections, laughing, loving, continuing to find a way to grow, to discover, to experience, stepping out into life and not being a casual bystander helps empower me.  
and I don't think I've made any sense at all writing this!!
So I'll just have to laugh at myself, and hope you all can too!
thanks for listening.