Relationships in astrology -Why do we meet the People we meet?

When you meet the person that you feel is the love of your life, doesn’t the sun shine more brightly? The woes of the world lessen and fade back into the mists that surround everything except that person and you? And if that same person should depart, the opposite happens and as you slide into a puddle on the floor you ask "Why me? Why did he/she hurt me so?"

What can we learn from this?

The one thing that I have found to be consistent in my research of synastry (the interaction of the astrological charts of different people) is the seeming inevitability of meeting a certain type of person at different stages of your life. This is not the same for everyone, as we all start with different natal charts, and therefore timing cycles. What we do about that meeting, or person, is of course our own choice.

The seventh house in a chart represents other people in the broadest sense. It can be a romantic association, a marriage, a business partner or even an open enemy (hidden enemies are more 12th house). The sign on the Descendant, the cusp of the 7th house, often shows the type of person we are attracted to, or are attracted to us.

Every astrology chart contains opposites, and they are a very interesting part of understanding our own charts. For relationships, the first house (self) is opposite the 7th house (relationships). The cusp of the 1st house is called the Ascendant, and indicates how we represent ourselves to the world. To complete the balance, we are often drawn to people who have a lot of the energies of the opposite sign (not necessarily their Sun sign), the one on our own Descendant, as they represent qualities within ourselves that may need attention.

So if your Ascendant, for example is Leo, then your Descendant will be in Aquarius, and you will probably attract the weird and wonderful, different type of person that Aquarian energy brings. Aquarius is more concerned with the big picture for humanity, whereas Leo can be more self-involved, hence the balance of opposites.

I have also noted that significant relationships often have some kind of strong connection between the Nodes in a chart, and transits of the nodes. This can be the North Node of one person conjuncting (being at a similar degree) as a planet of the second person, with the Node person arriving to help the planet person. These relationships can be profound, as if you work with the energies involved, whole new areas of life can be opened up, as the Nodes overall represent life direction.

A connection between the south node of one person and a planet of the other person is an indicator of past associations and karma, good or bad, to be resolved. For example I had a friend whose Leo Moon was at the same degree as my Leo south node and we not only had an instant rapport but a feeling of always having known and cared for each other. There was a mutually nurturing feeling (her Moon), a safeness and care that was very needed at that time in my life, and she fostered the creative (Leo) abilities I had, and I did the same for her. She was in my life for a short period, yet it is one I will never forget and thank the powers that be for bringing us together when we needed to be. A south node connection can also be very challenging, so it depends on the circumstances.

The timing of significant relationships can also be particularly associated with the transits of Chiron and Saturn. In fact there are many transits that bring people into our lives, be it Neptune and the dream love, Uranus and the electric fascination, Pluto and the transforming obsessions and so on. An astrologer can help to understand the cycles and the timing, as there are many factors involved.

However, there is something that you can do right now to better understand why you meet the people you meet.

Think about someone that you have really admired, respected or loved. What were their qualities and attitudes? Was it their strength, their passion, clear thinking, manner of working or sense of honour? Make a list.

Then think about how you feel about those very qualities within yourself.

Being very honest, you will no doubt find that these are areas of your own life that may need attention in some way. For example, that lover who gave you a sense of being nurtured and safe was probably reflecting your own anxieties about being able to look after yourself at that time. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with feeling loved and safe with someone, of course not! It is just that if the balance goes astray between our individuality and ability to nurture ourselves, and what we expect from another person, if the relationship fails it can be devastating.

The idea is to become aware of any expectations and needs we have that are fulfilled by the relationship. Then learn the lessons that this person bring to you, for example, if you admire their strength, then study it and foster your own strength. If you feel that the other person in the relationship is holding the 'power', then look to your own personal power and consider why you may be giving it away to someone else.

If you have a track record of attracting abusive relationships, the same thing applies. It is a fact in this world that one tends to attract the very things we fear, and have reflected back at us the inner challenges that we need to face, by way of other people. What is important is not what we feel people do TO us, but what we do to them, because it all goes back to how we feel about ourselves. Sort of "what goes around, comes around", the karmic cycle.

If you feel that everyone is awful to you, then the metaphysical question is "what part of this have I created, what responsibility is mine?". And it is VERY important that it doesn't become a personal pity party about how bad you are - it is about recognizing causes within ourselves and calmly doing something to change so it doesn't keep happening. Then we will no longer attract people to bring those lessons home to us!

Life is mostly about relationships, the needs we have, our daily interaction with others and the necessary boundaries we must learn about and draw in the sand. And in order to understand our relationships, we must first understand ourselves. Astrology can be a tremendous help to recognising the significance of the timing of relationships and what we can learn and contribute to them.

The bottom line is - honour your own abilities, your awareness, your gifts. The more you do this, the more you will find that you attract people into your life that do the same.

Namaste.

Sue Thompson
© Copyright 2005 S. Thompson.

that was indeed a very deep analysis of the topic, really consuming i must say...

it happens to be a very thoughtful issue..."why do we meet the one we meet" and i honestly haven't been able to find a satisfying answer to the question, but during my study of astrology i've discovered something, u may call it a rule which i have found to be successful in many cases.
Suppose u meet someone, u really like the person, but ur kinda uncertain if the association will go on
There are basically two kinds or two steps of analysis or u may say observations...

Firstly, and this one might be known to a few of u
There will always be attraction between ppl whose sun signs are in trine to each other, i.e
1 5 9 ppl with either of these signs will be attracted to each other
2 6 10 -------------------same------------------
3 7 11 ------------------ same------------------
4 8 12 -------------------same------------------

here 1 means aries, 2 taurus and so on......
along with this the following signs will also be attracted towards each other
1 and 7
2 and 8
3 and 9
4 and 10
5 and 11
6 and 12

Remember ppl, the Sun represents the soul, but the Moon represents the mind
So, if this rule is extended to moon sign or rashi(the sign where the moon is posited in the D1 or the lagna chart), it can work out very nice results.

Now, attractions may or may not be long lasted
This second rule makes use of the Vimshottari system of Dasha, and i know u will have to know the exact time, place, date information of the personS concerned here, but then I have seen this working many times.

The rule is really simple,
first check the Mahadasha/Antardasha/Pratyantra Dasha of both the ppl in question
for e.g. person A has Sat/Ven/Sun going on
whereas person B has Mon/Sat/Mar going on

Now the thing to check is whether both of them have any planet in common, as in the above example both the persons have Sat active....so we may say that the association will last for atleast the amount of time, they have "Common Active Planets".

I know some of you may have problems understanding this....feel free to ask any Qs or comment...
thanks
sahil

Hello to all,

Sue I confess I haven't read the whole of your article, but I will, I sure will.

Nevertheless, I would like to ask two things:

1) Do you ever consider, the location of Mars and Venus (signs or elements)?
2) Do you believe in past lives? Don't you think that this person we're falling in love or meeting or anything, this time, is here in order to teach us, or to whom we can teach something?

Regards
SN

Did you write that? It's interesting...

I have found through experience (I'm talking Western Astrology here, and I'm thinking most of the astro folks on this list are Vedic...) that what one has least in, one attracts, in fact, this would be healthy for the individual. The elements: water, earth, fire, and air, for example.

For instance a person with many planets in water. Most planets in water. While this specialist of the psychic/emotions would click in an exceptional way with another heavy water person, partnership speaking it just does not work. There is a more detached or non-connection on the other levels. <physical, mental, spiritual>

Lots of Water with lots of water -- where does the water go? It has no place. It's just placid, side-by-side.

Now, take a heavy earth person with low water and put that person with the heavy water, and you've got something cooking!
Water can POUR into earth, earth can receive it (particularly if it needs it)

Same is true for other signs in low and heavy amounts. It's very interesting to observe.

SN

yeah sure, Mars and Venus are the key planets when it comes to analysing the romance, the intensity in life.
like for instance, anyone having Mars in a fiery sign will have intense, fiery, torrid relationships and will have a tendency to move in and out relationships...add to that some sort PAC association between Mars and Venus, the results will be beyond imagination....what i particulary study is the role of lunar nodes....the rah/ket PAC association with Venus is a very interesting one and has to be carefully studied....

but all that is specifically for love and romance...whereas the point I tried to make in my post above is that for example if someone comes to me for a reading and I see that he/she is currently undergoing lets say Sun/Mar/Ven
whereas if I am under the influence of Jup/Ket/Mon
There is a chance that I won't be able to satisy him, no matter how good or bad an astrologer I am
Similarly, if someone having a dasha of Ven/Jup/.. comes to me, there is an added advantage as we're under the influence of same planets, so evn if I am a very bad astrologer, there is a good chance, I may satisfy him....The whole point being that it is much more generally applicable in various situations.

Abt ur 2nd question, as to whether I believe in past life, etc...
Well, firstly, it will just be a personal opinion, and nothing more than that
Yes I do believe in past life...I believe we carry forward whatevr we learn and do in our past lives...infact i believe the planets in our natal chart speak as to our deeds in our past lives...for instance a very week Jupiter in the natal chart means(to me, remember its just a personal opinion) that somewhere in the past life, the subject had his teachers/gurujans embarassed cuz of him....and so on.....the 5th house in our natal chart is supposed to represent our Purva Punyas...

Abt the second part of ur question....
yes, for quite a few years, I was a firm believer in this ideology that every person that comes into ur life...
Either I have some imp role to play in his life or vice-versa....
But right now, I am going through many transitions in life...I agree its good to learn from wherever and whenever possible but then you shouldn't be that sensitive that evry single person who comes into your life may inflict some changes in u...if the foundation is a shaky one, the building can't last a very long time...i know its a very hard thing, but u should move towards this stage....

ur views plz
thanks
sahil