| BLACKCAT wrote: |
you guys give me to much credit. the truth be told i think I'm dripping negativity. you can't see it on the board. but it's a battle the last couple of months. thing just keep happening, I'm so tired of it i can't even talk about it anymore. from waking up with a black eye (no idea how i got it) to having serious accidents. i swear something happens every day.
i go to court on Monday (no attorney, he's going to be OK. thank God) but can't get a new one who will take the case on such short notice, and of course my ex's attorney won't give me an extension. so I'm representing myself. to say I'm scared is an understatement.
i keep telling myself it's going to be OK. whether i believe it or not is a whole other thing.
so to counter act some of this, i come here and learn from all you. i learn how to care for others, and to keep things simple and real, you guys have taught me how to get out of self and try to be there for someone else, you have shown me unconditional love and genuine concern. you let me know it's OK not to have all the answers, and that whoever does have them all, doesn't know anything i want to hear. you guys don't tell me what i want to hear, you tell me the truth. and in doing that you show me what true friendship is all about. i have learn i don't have to be brutally honest to get my point across and that there is more then one way of looking at something. you guys never stop amazing me with the things you say and do.
so when what i really want to do is run like hell and never look back. instead i put on my game face and take all of you with me in facing my fears. so thank you for showing me how to be a better person.
you all have taught me different virtues and strengths. i wanted to tell each of you what you have given me. but in fear of forgetting someone or hurting someone's feelings. i decided against it. see another thing i have learned here.
I'm going to keep practicing my white light, bubbly protection thingy. don't think I'm doing it right. i might have actually lost my cat in his. (kidding) I'm really better at seeing him in one, then i am in trying to focus on mine.
keeping the faith another day.
blackcat |
We are both fighting on that same day sis.. Your fighting for your child to come home, and I'm fighting to let my mother go.. I have you in my prayers sis all the time.. Your a fighter.. Your a good friend and have lots of ppl cheering you on... You have more strength then you give your self credit for... We see it in here.. Just look in the mirror... Smile and say I'm strong and I can get through this.. As I will also...
Love you bunches my Kitty Cat,
Your Shadow
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