I don't know how to deal with my parents anymore. Actually, I never knew, but often times it was bearable until I started college and then, especially university. In highschool, I had more time to spend with them and clean around the house. When I went into college and then university, more time was allocated on my studies and naturally, I liked to have fun with my friends once in a while and I wouldn't help around the house as often as I used to because it is quite exhausting to do after so much brain activity. You just want to do nothing if you know what I mean. And I'm not a bad kid, it's not that I don't want to. I do, but I don't always find the time. But I do little things around the house, which they seem to take no notice of or take for granted and I try to be a moral support for them as well. I'm not financially stable. Actually, I am kind of broke, but I have been looking for work quite intensively lately, because I don't want to be an abuse to them anymore. I mean, I ask 20$ per week so I can buy tickets for the public transportation for the whole week and this also includes maybe a lunch if I don't pack my own or for going out (although I tend to go out less so I don't waste as much). Anyways, I had a fight the other day with them over dinner. Everything was fine until out of nowhere they start to reproach me saying it's been long I haven't done anything around the house (and mind you, I was sick for quite a bit and even then, I pulled myself together so I can clean the dust as I usually do every week). I tried to be gentle and said that I would, I was just busy with school work. And then they attacked me even more saying things I didn't do or done wrong that was like two-three weeks ago. It's just a slap in the face that they remember all the misdoings I have done unintentionally that was in the past. And then I began to get mad and so I snapped and said, "Well, right, I don't do anything! I do everything wrong." And it backfired from there. My mom said after that, "Ah, you're becoming more and more insolent and imposing, just wanting our money to spend and nothing more!" And I just started weeping, it really hurt me. I never thought my mom would think such a thing of me. I don't want their money. I'm broke, I can't buy tickets on my own yet, which I am trying to fix by finally finding and securing a job position, I feel guilty and scared enough to always ask. Anyways, I was shocked. I'm still quite shocked. And it's not very considerate of them knowing that the next day I have an exam and I can't sleep all night long, crying. And it's not all. I feel like I cannot fully be happy in life, because I always feel so guilty that I'm going out with friends or staying late or being late to come home (because of some external factors that are out of my control...but they still blow up) or that I am doing things that interest me (pursuing my passions for instance). And I feel scared to ask for a friend to come over to my house, because that would impose them, so I'd rather go to the friends' house instead. And I lose my self-esteem when I try to reach for things and believe in them, but they put me down by saying, "Right, you getting that? Haha." And it's funny, when I do everything right, they love me and shower me with compliments that I'm such a good girl. But if I can't do something, it's reproach to reproach to reproach and everything that I have ever done good for them is forgotten by such statements as, "Yes, you never do anything!" And I know they love me, but quite conditionally. And it's getting very troubling. Sometimes, I really wish to move out. And it's sad, I can't communicate with them, they are too stubborn and only see one side of things. They rarely consider the other person. And I try to communicate by talking calmly and rationally, but they are becoming so emotional and reproachful...it's hard to do! What can I do, please help? Thank you!