1 I have a mother in law who is extremely controlling and is a true enabler to my children especially my teen son.  She disrespects my wishes as a mother and questions me and disagrees with me in front of my children.  She favors boys and will do and say things for him behind my back  My husband is not consistent with support.  I feel alot of times he doesn't step in and address the situation. They both hate conflict and and don't want to be the bad guy, not believers in discipline-But I am, I want my kids to be happy, but responsible and respectful.
My teen son is now disrespectful to me because of the above.  I get so angry and have been a parent who yells.  I am working on getting better, but don't know how to deal with a meddling in law and a spouse who disagrees with disciplining children and how to deal effectively with stress frustration and anger.  Any constructive tips would be greatly appreciated

I have seen situations too in which the husband doesn't want to get involved. If you share a good relationship with your son, maybe you could try explaining it to him about where he is going wrong. since it is your battle and your husband doesn't want to say anything, make it clear to your mother in law. Screaming is no solution.

It takes a strong man to choose his wife in front of his mother, I did it and my relationship was never quite the same with my mother.

I understand that it puts a wedge in the relationship, but I don't want him choosing me over his mother.  I want his mother to be a mother and grandmother, but respect me as a wife and parent.  I want him to support my decisions as it is our children and family, not hers.  He married me and she needs to respect our marriage, she is on her fourth so may not view marriage as a serious commitment to her.  I know mother in law and I will not always see eye to eye, but she needs to back off.  I am not harming my children by disciplining them(discipline meaning rules and taking away priviledges, not physically harming them).  I have however been known to yell and I have made the step to get help with that.  The yelling is all on me and I know does not help and I am learning to let go of the anger and stay calm, I am determined to overcome this and have already made progress.  I feel when a man has his own family he can look to his mother for advice, but a real man supports the mother of his children.  I don't think a man (hubby)should make decisions with the grandmother(mother-in-law) about the family without the mother (me)being involved.  I feel a mother of an adult needs to respect this as she did her job raising him and needs to let him live his life with his family.  I don't think their should be choosing anyone over anyone else.  Their needs to be mutual respect and everyone has a purpose and involvement.  It does take a strong man to support his wife over his mother, and I am sorry that you and your mother have issues.  I don't know what your exact situation is, but I think your mother should respect you for supporting your wife.  I am raising my son with discipline because I want him to be strong and support and respect whomever he marries in the future.  I want him to respect me and feel he can come to me for any reason and I will be there for him, but want him to be a good husband and father to his family.  Thank you for being there and for all of your advice and just wish me luck in my journey, I am determined to succeed!

So is there an update, Mandimedea.  How are things going?