My ex-husband sees our son about 4 days a month during which they see movies and go to the eagles club where dad is a member.  I am grateful that his dad is around in some capacity, however he has never been to a conference, attended school functions or sports activities, and he isn't interested in health issues or discipline and prefers to be a buddy.  This wasn't as much of a problem until this year.  My son just entered seventh grade and heading fast into the teen years.  I am teaching him how to be a responsible, hardworking adult, but how to I teach him what it means to be a good man ?  My father is passed on, and his uncles are not around.  Since I can't act from experience, I'm wondering how to teach him using a male perspective.  thank you for any tips <3 <3 Lizzy

Hi Lizzy
You can not replace your son's dad. You can only be the best MOTHER that you can be: Quite the same way an apple can be a fruit but never a peach...You can expose your son to positive male rolemodels- in your family; at the church or some place where there are such men. Your son may be angry with his dad for 'deserting'him and also with you for allowing this to happen. Still you can only be the best mother you can be and this includes letting him go. He is becomomg a man now and needs to test boundaries. Perhaps you do not especially want to try to hard to set his boundaries in a controlling way but you certainly want to set boundaries for yourself; for your space and for people that move within that space including your son, your ex and any rolemodels that become a part of you and your son's life. Keep courage and do not try to be a mother and a dad: it is not possible

A young boy will always seek approval from a single mother. Make certain he knows you will listen and guide, but that he is responsible for making the decisions and that you “know” that if he checks his heart and conscious he will make the right choice. Most importantly is listening and “hearing”. You may hear things you don’t want to hear, you may be asked questions you are not comfortable answering, but you need to rise to the occasion and be the ONE they know they can turn to.