ok Guys a question.While deciding for the custody of cghildren especially ina divorce matter who should be allowed to chose for the child??The child himsel/herself or the gown-ups??

There has been arecent case in India where A child was asked whom to choose and hechose his father because he was rich and could pamper him with everything he wants.There was also news that his father is not no nice guys legally.So this makes us thinks who should be allowed to chose for the child.
The father was given custody.  

My son was 13 when I divorced and we gave him the choice - he chose to live with me because and I quote,"Mum will be OK but I'd better keep an eye on you!"
Needless to say he now lives 70 miles away 2 houses away from his Mum.
Given a chance to go back and do it again I'd probably do it the same way as we all get along fine, she now lives on her own and he looks out for her.

For children, especially young ones, I think a third party with ties to neither side should be involved.  Granted a child will want to be pampered, but if raised properly, will realize that there are other things to life then that.

The court granted me custody because I was the primary caregiver and he made as ass of himself in numerous documents.  To this day, my oldest is "Daddy's Favorite" while the youngest is just there.  He doens't pay child support, has only worked about 3 months in last 2 years, but always seems to have money to take them out and buy them things.  (Cheating the system maybe??)  Anyways, ask my kids where they would prefer to live, and its not with the one that spoiles them.  While they would love to get all they want on my end as well, they are coming to realize that some things are just out of our price range.  They are happy here, surrounded by people that love them.

With so many out there advocating for children, it shouldn't be hard to get someone to advocate for yours in a divorce situation.  If we hadn't come to an arrangement, the court would have sent someone to check out both of our living situations.  In the end with proding from his lawyer and a disgusted look from the judge, I got full custody and he has visitation.

Hey Prof. and Bandit nice to hear that the right decision were made.I beleive a parent should first think about the welfare of the child,if he/she going to be happy or not.Most decision I see is in favor of the mother.Also teh parents should be evaluated if they good enough for their child like an abusive parent orcareless parent,non-working parent should be denied.if both parents are good then it's upto the children to be given decision.

dhav

I don't completely agree with that nonworking comment though.  Think of how many at home moms have no job when custody is an issue.  Now granted, they can get a job, but at the time they didn't.