is it normal for your children to be attatched to you at the hip? i mean is it cruel to try to break them away from it?

Hi Vixen

I dunno.  I think it depends on their personality type.  My little boy snapped out of the clingy stage at 11 months.  He didnt want to hang off my hip all the time, even tho he still followed me EVERYWHERE and now he's 2.5 he still does, but will sometimes go and play alone.  When he was a newborn I used to leave him on the floor with a couple of soft toys to stare at and quickly buzz round and do what I had to do then get back to him.  I can now leave him with a friend for a few hours or his grandma for a weekend and hes fine.
My daughter who has just turned one is a different story however!!!!!  I will quickly sneak away to have a shower and when I get out I can garrentee she will be at the door acting like I have abandoned her!!!!  Even tho she has her brother to keep her company, as soon as she realises ive slipped away, thats it.
I think the difference is that when my son was 11 months I put him into care while I went bak to work a few hours a week.  He learnt that I would come back when I went away.  My daughter has never had a chance to experience that.
Soooo, in a nut shell, no, I dont think its cruel to break them away from it.  I will be honest and say it drives me insane having her hanging off me all day and they have to learn that you will come back.  
Sorry for the long post I do go on a bit!!

i don't believe it is cruel either, just be sure to do it gradually and make sure you reassure the child. my oldest daughter who will soon be 4 likes to be around me alot because we have moved a few times and for a bit i was what made her feel secure, though now that we have settled down in one place for awhile, she is more willing to do things alone, though she still likes the attention. my younger daughter isn't 1 yet, and i've found that since i breastfed her for longer than my older daughter, she is more clingy, she likes to cuddle with me to go to sleep, but i try not to let her do it very often so she can learn to do things on her own. though she has been left with my mom or my boyfriend's family for a few hours and did fine there, she likes to have someone paying attention to her. i would suggest that when you leave your child for amounts of time, that it be with someone that they are familiar with, if you don't have family or a close friend that can watch them, then have the babysitter come over a few times while you are home to spend time with your child so that they get used to them.

I don't think that it is mean or anything to break a child that is attached to your hip. My son and youngest daughter was really bad about that, I couldn't even go to the restroom without them throwing a fit and screaming. My son finally got better after the first week of his kindergarden year at school. (Sad for me to say this but I felt like I was one of the worse moms of all leaving him at school because he cried for the whole first week). The longer he went the more he realized that it was only for a few hours and that there were so much he could do at school and made a lot of new friends and as he said, "My girlfriend is in my class" and he was okay and has been every since. Now since he is a teenager, he is very protective when it comes to me and tryed to be when he was younger. My youngest daughter, however, is a different matter all together. She became really bad about wanting me to hold her ALL the time especially when it was only me and her at home with my other three was at school. Even though she was ok when she started school, she was still wanting me to hold her the whole time she was home, all the way up till she was around 10. She still sits on my lap (she is 13 now) and would love for me to hold her if I could and she used to try. She still wants to be where ever I am no matter what. My 2 oldest ones wasn't like that they both were independent and wanted to do things theirself sometimes they wouldn't mind the other one for help but for mama to help they only did that when neither one of them could do it.
Although, it is better to break children from being clingy when they are young some times it just doesn't happen no matter what you try. My youngest is the proof of that for me. While with my son although he became independent after his 1 week of kindergarden, he became to be very protective over me.(I haven't figured out why on that one). Everytime something happens, if i am upset or what ever he knows and wants to fix it in one way or another (some positive while unfortuantley some are negative).
I believe that it all depends on the child on how close they feel they need to be to their parent.

why would you want to? enjoy it and they still grow up independent but in the meantime realize how important you are in their life and how frightening it must be for them to insist they have their independence before time.   [color=darkblue][/color][color=darkred][/color][size=18][/size]